


Falling into Madness

by adepressedmeme



Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Amaurophilia, Angst, Aquaphilia, Asphyxiation, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Begging, Belonephilia, Blindfolds, Consensual Sex, Corsetry, Doraphilia, Edgeplay, Eventual Romance, Explicit Language, F/M, Fire play, Gags, Haematomania, Hybristophilia, Hygrophilia, Intoxication, Katoptronophilia, Knife Play, Loss of Parent(s), Loss of Virginity, Masochism, Racism, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Smut, Trauma, Tripsolagnophilia, Vincilagnia, Wax Play, age gap, breath play, canning, hypoxia, menophilia, zelophilia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:13:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 40,262
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26496196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adepressedmeme/pseuds/adepressedmeme
Summary: This story follows Lilinah the Dunmer as she goes from an innocent kid to a murderous fiend. The thieves guild becomes her home for a time, but nothing good ever lasts. With Cicero’s help, she gets dragged deeper and deeper into madness.
Relationships: Brynjolf (Elder Scrolls)/Original Character(s), Brynjolf (Elder Scrolls)/Original Female Character(s), Cicero (Elder Scrolls)/Original Character(s), Cicero (Elder Scrolls)/Original Female Character(s), Cicero/Female Listener (Elder Scrolls), Cicero/Listener (Elder Scrolls), Rune (Elder Scrolls)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 23





	1. From Windhelm to Riften

**Author's Note:**

> Tah dah! Another story because I'm currently between jobs and have nothing better to do. Please enjoy xxx
> 
> TW: There is a brief scene of attempted rape at the beginning of this chapter that includes non-consensual touching while Lilinah is underage. I put a summary of the chapter in the endnotes for anyone that wants/needs to skip it but wants to follow the story.

The bitter, biting winds of Windhelm were unforgiving. Lilinah helped tend to the horses and the crops outside the city. Dunmer weren’t exactly welcome there, but it’s where her parents settled. She was very young when they made it into Skyrim, only a few winters old. Now she was a young teen, surviving fourteen winters. She never adjusted to the cold weather, always bundled up in as much fur as she could wrap around herself while still being able to work. As irony would have it, food was scarce for her family even though they were farmers. As such, Lilinath never grew to the full height of her people. She was only the size of a Bosmer. Her parents would tease her that she was a burnt wood elf. Working with the horses gave Lilinah some small joy, as horses never judged her for her dark skin. The Nords inside the city, they were monsters. 

Every week since she turned twelve she went with her parents to deliver their goods: vegetables, fruits, flowers, whatever it was that they managed to grow in the harsh weather. Her father was often the parent that went into the city, as he feared the Nords doing something to his wife or daughter. Sometimes both parents went. 

This trip, her father was sick. So ill that her mother needed to tend him and be at his side every waking minute. Lilinah would have to make this trip alone. Her mother gave her an iron dagger, hoping she wouldn’t need it. The small Dunmer strapped it into the belt of her fur-lined dress. She placed their wares in bags on their horse, a dapple, and rode off to the city. 

Ulundil, the Altmer that owned the stables nearest the city, allowed her to board her horse while she attended business. He creeped her out. Even though he was married, he often would be overly nice and comment on how he hoped to get to know her better. Lilinah gathered their bag of wares quickly and walked to the city. 

The guards let her in since they knew her, but made passing comments on how they’re tired of ‘the gray skins’ stench. Lilinah, though, was not actually gray. She was darker than her parents, a deep shade of blue. So dark was the hue, that you couldn’t see her when she stepped into shadows. 

A sense of unease flowed through the Dunmer when she finished dropping off the food and taking the payment. She didn’t know why, but her gut told her to get out of the city as fast as she could. So that’s what she tried to do, move quickly without drawing attention to herself. Unfortunately, it was no help. As she turned the corner to leave the Gray Quarter, a Nord man grabbed her by the shoulders. He smelt strongly of alcohol and had over a foot of height on her. He was clearly stronger than her, his biceps thicker than her thighs. 

“Well, what do we have here?” He asked her with a wolfish grin. 

“Excuse me sir,” Lilinah averted her eyes from his gaze and tried to move from his grasp. 

He tightened his grip, “Now where do you think you’re going elf?” 

“Please sir, I need to go home to my sick pa,” she pleaded, panic tearing at her skin. 

“Well I wouldn’t want to hold you up,” he grinned again as he pushed her toward a secluded wall, “Tell you what, I’ll make this quick if you play nice.” 

“Play?” Fear lined her tone. 

“Yes. A fun game. Just stay quiet and don’t fight me and it’ll be over soon,” his grin turned sour, “If you don’t, I’ll fucking kill ya.” 

Lilinah didn’t reply, her mind swirling with ideas to get away from the large man that was pawing at her dress. Her fight or flight instincts were coursing through her as she felt a hand caress her thigh. She knew flight wasn’t possible as long as he held her and she couldn’t just yell for help. The guards didn’t bother passing through the Gray Quarters often, so there was little hope for a rescue. Truth be told, a guard may look the other way since she’s a Dunmer. 

Lilinath saw an opening as the larger man moved one hand from her shoulder to unlace his trousers. It wasn’t much time, but with her speed she could manage. Swiftly she grabbed the dagger hidden in her belt and stabbed the man, right where his heart should be. His eyes went wide at that and he tried to fight her off. Before his hands reached the blade, she pulled it out and stabbed him again in the neck. He fell over, trying to yell for the guards but only managing loud gurgles from the blood. Lilinath looked at herself, now covered in the drunkard’s blood. She felt sick to her stomach. As she watched her would be rapist’s life leave his eyes, she felt regret. She had never injured anyone, killed anyone, or seen anyone die. 

As she stood on trembling legs, she ran as fast as she could. The guards didn’t have time to register all the blood on the little girl. When she made it to the stable, she all but jumped on her horse. She had never rode the gelding that hard in his life. When she made it back home and off the mount, she threw up. Lilinah didn’t stop vomiting until her stomach was completely empty of its contents and the only thing coming back up was acid. 

Fatigued from running and vomiting, she fell to her knees on the snow. Her gelding hesitantly moved closer to her, nudging her with his muzzle. Lilinah stayed in that position until she could no longer feet her feet and hands. When she made it back inside her house after bringing the horse to the stable, she found her father asleep and her mother changing the rags on his forehead. 

Lilinah didn’t know how to tell her mother what happened, so she didn’t. Of course her mother had panicked when she saw the state of her. Lilinah wouldn’t tell her and her mother could see in her eyes that there was a reason she couldn’t. So her mother drew a bath and helped her get cleaned of the dried blood and warmed up by the hearth. They both decided it best to keep this from her father, he didn’t need added stress in his weakened state. 

For the next few months, Lilinah was plagued by nightmares of the man that tried to force himself on her. She had taken the mantle of caring for her father while her mother handled business in the city. One night came and her father wouldn’t wake. She and her mother tried everything they could, even bringing in the alchemist from the city to look at him. The next morning he had passed. 

Without her father, their farm started to fail. Her mother fell into a deep state of depression, neglecting the daily chores. Lilinah tried to do everything herself, but she was only one person and a small one at that. By her fifteenth birthday, they had to sell the farm and most of their belongings. With only the clothes on her back, a pack of a few personal items, and one horse, Lilinah and her mother made their way to a new place to call home. 

Riften was the only place they could afford with their measly savings. They moved into a small single room section of space next to the filthy water that ran through the city. Her mother worked at the docks. It was back breaking work that only covered the cost of food and the occasional health potion or change of clothes. 

Lilinah knew she would have to work now to ease her mother’s stress. She looked for jobs around Riften but had a hard time finding anything. There was an odd job here or there that paid, like running letters or cleaning houses, but nothing permanent. 

It wasn’t until her sixteenth winter that she was approached with a new opportunity. A red haired Nord man in fine clothing approached her as she made her way through the market looking for work. He commented on her lack of money and offered her a job. Lilinah wasn’t a trained thief, but she was desperate. It turned out she was pretty good at picking locks, something she had never tried before. Pickpocketing came even easier for her. 

Brynjolf, the Nord man, offered her a more permanent source of jobs. Lilinah was hesitant, not trusting of any Nords after that day in the city. He could see her sense of unease and didn’t press her. Brynjolf felt a soft spot for her though, she wore ragged clothes and looked half starved. The gold he gave her for the job was more than she probably had at any one time. 

With directions to get to the Ratway, Lilinah brought the gold to her mother. She was scolded, for her mother knew that she had to do something criminal to make that much in one day. Lilinah didn’t go to the Ratway or think about it for a few more weeks, until her mother fell ill. Living next to sewage had a way of catching up to you. 

The burden to make money to survive fell on Lilinah’s small, frail shoulders. With nowhere else to turn to pay for her mother’s medicine, she found her way to the Ratway. It was disgusting and full of people that were hostile. She managed to get through by sneaking and staying in the shadows. It took her a while, because of the stealth, to make it to the Ragged Flagon.

It was much larger than she expected. Hesitantly, she made her way toward the bar where she could see the red haired man from before. He was out of his fine clothing and wearing what she would later find out was guild armor. Dirge, the man that acted as the bouncer, did not take kindly to her being there. 

“What are you doing here kid?” He crossed his arms on his armor. 

“I was invited,” Lilinah’s voice smaller than normal. 

“Relax Dirge,” Brynjolf’s voice called over as he moved from the bar to her, “Didn’t expect you to actually make it here, lass.” He looked her over while she approached, clad in just a tunic, leather leggings, and a pair of shoes that had seen better days. He was pretty sure she wasn’t even wearing a breast band, not that he was going to let himself think sexually toward the girl.

“Well it wasn’t exactly easy,” she put a small hand on her hip, “Wasn’t expecting for so many men to live in the sewers.” 

“For our line of work, there is no reward without risks. I expect you won’t be bellyaching like a child at each task I give you,” his voice turned serious. 

“I wasn’t bellyaching, just being honest. Which,” she paused and her tone turned rather sassy, “I presume is something that doesn’t come often in your line of work.” 

Brynjolf chuckled at that, “Fair enough,” he motioned for her to follow him, “Now that I whetted your appetite, why don’t you try and handle a few deadbeats for me?” He sat at an empty table and had her take the seat across him. 

“So long as the pay is good,” Lilinah couldn’t help but eye the food a woman was eating at a table near them. 

Brynjolf noticed, “Aye, it will. Before I tell you your targets, why don’t you tell me a little more about why you want to join our guild?” 

Lilinah shifted uncomfortably under his judging green eyes, “I need the money and I don’t much like the idea of breaking my back at the docks or…” she paused and scrunched her nose as if disgusted by her own thoughts, “worse.” 

Ever the perceptive one. Brynjolf got the hint. He wanted nothing more to embrace the young elf before him, she looked like she could use platonic affection. “What has you needing the money? Got a debt?” 

Lilinah met his gaze with her deep red eyes, “Why does it matter, if I do the job right?” 

“Because,” he leaned closer to her and caught the flinch she made, “Wealth is my business. You seem to have none, so I want to know the circumstances around that.” 

Lilinah pushed her back in the chair with a sigh to give more space between her and the Nord that was too close for comfort, “My pa is dead and my ma is sick and can’t work anymore. The small legal jobs here, of which there aren’t many, can’t cover food and medicine.” Lilinah heard her voice crack a bit at the end, but she refused to cry in front of the many strangers around her. “I’m willing to do any jobs you throw at me.” 

“Any?” He raised a brow and could see as the Dunmer stiffened at the realization of what she said, “Relax, I was just joking with you. You’re a rather flighty one aren’t you?” 

“Have to be,” she replied. 

Brynjolf looked around the room at all the faces on her. Everyone could sense that she had some serious baggage, but few in the guild didn't. Lilinah was studying the Nord’s face, as though she was staring into his very soul. He thought she looked like a deer staring at a wolf and the idea of her seeing him as a threat made him sad. He would never hurt the lass unless she pulled a blade on him. 

“What’s your name?” He asked her to break the silence that had settled between them.

She stiffened again, confusing Brynjolf. It was just a name. She was contemplating lying but decided it wouldn’t be much of a benefit, “Lilinah.” 

“Nice to meet you Lilinah,” he extended a hand to shake hers, “I’m Brynjolf.” 

Lilinah stared at the hand being extended to her, hesitantly and slowly gripping it with her own. Brynjolf knew she was small and a bit malnourished but was surprised by just how delicate those hands were. He knew that, with the right instruction, she would be a master thief. 

… 

With her first real jobs complete and officially becoming a member of the guild, Lilinah felt some relief. Now she would be able to provide for what remained of her little family. She got fitted into her own set of guild armor, thankful to be rid of her old tattered clothes. They had to make a lot of adjustments because she was too small for their smallest set, but now it fit well. 

Brynjolf took it upon himself to see to her training. She was picking up on lockpicking quickly and she was a natural at picking pockets. Her delicate fingers could slide in and out of pockets without making nearly any noticeable movement. 

What she really needed was help with fighting. The thieves guild didn’t kill people on their jobs, but each one of them was skilled in some area of defense in case things went south on a job. Lilinah was managing with a bow better than a blade, but a bow wouldn’t work in tight corners where she would most likely need to protect herself. 

“Come on lass,” Brynjolf held two dulled daggers close to his face, “Come at me like you want to kill me.” 

Lilinah took a deep breath and charged him with her own dulled daggers. He caught them both with his own, sending them flying across the room. It had been a month of training and she still couldn’t land a hit on him, not even close. 

“You have to move with the intent to kill lass,” he told her as she moved to pick up the fallen blades, “You have no fire when using blades. A bow is great, but it won’t work when you’re in close quarters.” 

“I-I,” she wavered a bit, “I don’t think I could kill again.” 

“Again?” Brynjolf questioned with his head slightly tilted. 

Lilinah didn’t realize she had said that out loud, “It was a long time ago and...I’d rather not talk about it. Rather not think about it either.” She shuttered visibly. 

“Well, when you feel up to it you can talk to me about it,” Brynjolf reached out to touch her shoulder. 

Big mistake. With a furry he had never seen from the little elf, she forced his arm down by striking the inside of his elbow then brought the second dagger to his gut with more force than he would have expected her to have. Brynjolf coughed and caught himself on the ground by his hands. Lilinah looked in horror at what she had just done, panic having taken control and acted without even thinking about it. She moved away from the Nord and felt her tears roll down her cheeks, dropping both of the blades on the stone floor. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, her hand on her chest. She felt like her heart was going to burst through her chest. 

“It’s alright, it was a great maneuver,” he couldn’t be mad at her when he saw her current state, “What’s wrong lass? I need some explanation to avoid scaring you like that.” 

Lilinah slid to the floor, her knees under her and legs spaced out. She felt like she couldn’t breathe. No one by her mother had ever touched her shoulders since the incident in Windhelm. The fact he was a Nord made it all worse. Brynjolf could see that she wasn’t able to calm herself. He was at a loss at what to do. Normally he would want to embrace someone in this state to calm them, but touching seemed like a bad idea. 

“Just breath lass,” he squatted near her, but not too close. 

“I’m sorry,” she started to sob. 

“It’s okay lass, I’m not mad at you,” he assured her, “Just breath then tell me what’s wrong.” 

He waited a few minutes before she managed to gather herself, “When I was younger and my pa was still alive, we lived in Windhelm. Life was hard, but simple. When my pa got sick,” she paused and regathered her composure, “ma couldn’t leave his side much, so I had to be the one to take the goods in the city.” 

“What happened?” He asked, careful to not sound pushy as she was visibly trying not to cry again. 

“A Nord man, easily twice maybe three times my size…” Brynjolf felt that he knew where this was going and silently cursed his race for always finding a way to hurt the mer, “He had me pinned by the shoulders. He-he,” she was starting to lose her fight with her own emotions. 

“Take your time lass,” he wanted to hold her even more now and tell her everything would be okay. 

“He forced himself on me and no one was there to help me. There was a brief moment where I could move enough to grab the dagger my ma had given me and I drove it in his chest. Then his throat,” she ran her hands over her face, “I didn’t mean to kill him. I just wanted him to stop touching me. I had never seen anyone die before, never even injured someone before.” 

“You did what you had to, lass,” he assured her, “You shouldn’t feel guilty for that.” 

“Shouldn’t I? What right do I have to take a life?” Those big red eyes searched his green ones for answers. 

“Listen lass,” he rubbed the back of his head, “In Skyrim, you have to be willing to kill when you need to. There are bad people out there that would kill you without a second thought. I’m not telling you to start being a murder, but you have to come to terms with killing and death.” Lilinah shook her head in understanding. “I’ll be careful not to touch you in any ways that might set this off again, okay?” 

“Okay,” her voice was little more than a whisper. 

“Was what happened the reason you had looked so scared of me since you met me?” Brynjolf couldn’t help but ask. 

“Yes,” she answered. It relieved him that her fear was actually wasn't toward him, but his race in general. 

“Alright. Lass, I would never hurt you,” he stood and offered her his hand to bring her up, “You can trust your family here.” 

She took his hand, eyes slightly puffed and breath still uneasy. Brynjolf ended training for the day to let her rest. His heart went out to her. He had been a poor street urchin in his youth, but he never had anyone force themselves on him. He couldn’t relate to the idea of nearly being raped like that, but he could understand it. 

For the next two years that followed, Lilinah was becoming one of the guild’s best. She was slipping in and out of buildings with ease like Vex. She hadn’t been caught in a single fishing job that Delvin gave her. Lilinah had brought in more gold in the time she was there than any other single person in the guild. 

She was also looking better. Her face was not so gaunt now that she was eating regularly. In regards to her body, she was starting to look more mature. Her hips were wider than before and curves more visible. Lilinah has developed more in her chest and rear. She was still petite though, the smallest by height and width than anyone in the guild. The changes she had gone through hadn’t gone unnoticed. 

Lilinah was eighteen now, the age where many women would be arranging marriages. Cynric, Niruin, Rune, and Vipir had all taken an interest in her. Brynjolf thought it was to be expected, given there were few women in the guild and Lilinah had all the features of an elf that men often found attractive. Given she didn’t have the height of an Altmer, she still had those high cheekbones, slim figure, large eyes, and plump lips. If he was young again, Brynjolf would have tried to bed her too. 

Lilinah had just returned from a job and was headed to wash up when Rune rushed to her. As expected, she flinched and prepared herself for a fight. She had made leaps and bounds with her comfort around Brynjolf, but other Nords made her jumpy. Even those in the guild. Since Brynjolf was the only person who knew her past, the others didn’t know that they shouldn’t make quick advances toward her or try to get handsy. 

“You’re back!” Rune exclaimed and made a movement to clasp her shoulder. 

Lilinah expertly dodged his hand, but gave him a smile, “Yeah, the job went well.” 

“Well your jobs always do!” He grinned at her like an idiot. There was an awkward pause between them as Rune tried to muster the next words. He was typically the slowest in the guild, “Would you like to get something to eat together?” There was a lot of hope in his eyes as he beamed at her. 

Lilinah didn’t want to be the one to ruin that smile, “Sure. Let me wash up first.” 

His smile somehow grew wider as he left her. Niruin had watched the exchange, slightly jealous. He knew there were others trying to get her in the sheets, but he thought he would be the first to make a move. 

Lilinah dipped herself into the washing basin they had. They may live in a sewer, but that didn’t mean she had to smell like one. She washed herself with a soap made of lavender oil and juniper berries. Not what you would expect a thief to smell like, but she liked it. After feeling confident she had scrubbed every spot on her, she dried herself off and unplugged the tub to allow the water into the sewer grate below. Now dry, she dressed herself in a pair of black leather leggings and a white tunic. The tunic was embroidered around the collar and sleeves with a red pattern that matched the color of her eyes, blood red. The collar plunged down a bit, but didn’t show much other than flesh since she had small breasts. It also was wide and showed much of her collarbone. She used her fire magic to dry her hair quickly, not wanting to walk around with a wet head. It wasn’t what she typically did, but she left her hair down without braiding or pinning it up. The dark locks were long enough to brush her rear. 

Rune looked at her with the widest eyes when she made it into the Ragged Flagon. He was at a table already, drinking his mead. Thrynn noticed her from the bar, surprise on his face too. Vekel chuckled at the two star struck men. The Dunmer rarely let her hair down to flow naturally and the new tunic she bought showed more skin than the other ones she wore around the guild. She didn’t even wear her tunics often either, typically keeping her armor on. Lilinah didn’t mean to try and look appealing or give an impression of dressing up. It had not even crossed her mind that Rune meant this as a date or any romantic gesture. To her, it was just friends enjoying dinner. 

“What?” She asked, annoyed at how both the men stared at her. Truth be told, they both thought she looked like a goddess. 

“That’s a new top,” Thyrnn spoke first, jaw still a little slack. 

“You aren’t in your guild armor,” Rune added. 

Lilinah looked down at herself then back up at them with a shrug, “My armor was wet.” 

It was a simple answer. Vekel chuckled again, himself also enjoying the beauty’s sight. He had little interest in bedding the young woman, but if she offered he wouldn’t turn her down. Aside from Delvin who was still pinning for Vex, he doubted any men there would turn her away. 

Just before Lilinah took her seat, Brynjolf came in and caught sight of her. She turned her head to see who had just closed the bookshelf. The way she looked now was the first time he had ever seen her as a woman and not the scrawny kid he took in from the streets. For once he was at a loss for words. 

“You too?” She turned to face him and put a hand on an extended hip, “I let my hair down and get a new top and now everyone is acting like I’m a new person.” 

“Well lass,” he cleared his throat and forced back the lewd things that came to mind, “You do look different.” He moved toward the bar so he could stop looking at her. He felt dirty, wrong for the fact his trousers were growing tighter. It wasn’t his fault the woman didn’t wear a damn breast band. 

Lilinah took a seat across from Rune, who promptly ordered the both of them seared salmon filets with a side of roasted potatoes. Thrynn decided to take the mead he was drinking and have a seat next to her, much to Rune’s displeasure. They engaged in small talk, both men trying to slide in some flirting. Given that the only sexual encounter she had was nonconsensual, she never thought about romance and sex. As such, she didn’t catch on to their hints. 

“Doesn’t all that hair get in the way of your jobs?” Thrynn asked her. 

“If I wore it down, sure,” she pulled some of her hair forward which accidentally drew the men’s attention to her nearly visible breasts, “Once it’s braided and pinned up then it’s out of the way. A little heavy I guess, but I wouldn’t want to cut it.” 

“It’s pretty,” Rune replied. 

“Oh? Thanks,” Lilinah never really knew how to take a compliment. 

Brynjolf held back a scoff at the men’s futile attempts at bedding Lilinah. He knew her better than anyone there, so he knew that unless they outright asked her for a tumble she wouldn’t understand what they wanted. He didn’t blame her given her past and part of him felt rather protective of her. Relationships were permitted between guild members, but Brynjolf didn’t like the idea of any of the men there using her. 

“My, my,” Niruin strolled in behind Lilinah and circled around her like a vulture, “Don’t you clean up nice.” Brynjolf felt like gagging. These guys didn’t know how to woo a woman. 

“I want to say thanks but...I feel like that’s really more of an insult,” Lilinah crossed her arms, again accidentally drawing their attention back to her breast which were now pressed enough to form cleavage. 

“I only meant good things, promise,” he slid into the last empty chair of the table, “What do they have you drinking? The swill they pass off as wine?” 

Lilinah looked down at the red alto wine in her tankard, “I think it’s fine. Takes the edge off as good as any mead does.” She shrugged. 

“The wine in Skyrim tastes like urine compared to the fine vintages we had in Valenwood,” his expression was that of disgust, “I have a few bottles of the wine I made before I left. I’d be more than happy to share it with you...privately.” 

Lilinah snorted, “Where is there privacy here?” 

“Oh, I know places,” he tried to sound suave. 

“I think I’m good,” she rejected the offer. 

“Suit yourself,” he replied, his ego deflated. 

“What about me?” Thrynn said, “We could do some sparing.” 

Again Lilinah didn’t get the hint, “I’m always up for some practice. Maybe not after I drink though.” 

Thrynn smiled to himself, thinking he was getting a chance. Brynjolf felt himself tense up. His little thief didn’t get what he was suggesting and she just agreed to it. 

“If you’re looking for practice, I could help too,” Rune smiled at her. 

“Sure,” she tilted her head a bit. Her naivete showed, “You three are acting strange. What’s going on with that?” 

“They’re trying to flirt with you lass,” Brynjolf decided to tell her, feeling rather protective of her. 

“What?” Lilinah’s shock was clear as day, “Why?” She looked to the three men at the table. 

“Like I said,” Niruin interrupted, “You clean up nicely.” 

“So let me get this straight. When I’m just in our guild outfit, I’m not anything to look at. But if I wear a tunic and let my hair down, you suddenly can’t seem to keep it in your pants?” Lilinah folded her arms, offended. The three of them shifted uncomfortably in their chairs, not wanting to meet her gaze. “If you really wanted my attention, you should understand I’m not impressed by dinner and wine. None of you apparently know me well, even though I’ve been here for two years now. That’s rather pathetic.” Her tone was bitter.

“I’m sorry Lil,” Rune tried using her nickname to soften her gaze, “What would you prefer?” 

She arched her brow, “You’re joking right?” Rune rubbed the back of his head and an awkward silence fell over the table. “Well, this has been...something. Goodnight you three.” 

Lilinah stood and left the table. The three thieves watched her walk away. Niruin felt angry, Thrynn disappointed, and Rune sad. 

Brynjolf moved to the empty chair, “None of you have any idea how to talk to the lass.” 

“I thought she would like this,” Rune’s tone somber. 

“She did,” Brynjolf explained, “but this isn’t personal. It’s something that any man can do. Let me give you three this bit of advice, Lilinah won’t be interested in a quick tumble.” 

“How do you know that?” Thrynn questioned with a suspicious tone. 

“I know her well lad,” he answered, getting up from the table and following where Lilinah went. 

Lilinah felt strange. She was offended and flattered at the same time. No one had tried flirting with her before, so she didn’t even recognise it. To take her mind off of it, she pulled out her Sacred Witness book and started to read. Reading always had a way of making her relax. On top of the alcohol in her system, she was feeling much better from her dinner and was growing tired. 

“Are you okay lass?” She hadn’t even noticed he was standing near her. 

“I think so,” she closed the book and laid it in her lap, “I feel pretty stupid that I didn’t pick up that they were flirting. It’s...rather confusing.” 

“Aye,” he sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on her knee. He was the only one she allowed to touch her like this, the only man she trusted. Brynjolf noticed she became more receptive of his physical displays of affection since her mother passed. He could remember the day so clearly, like it was yesterday. She was seventeen at the time. He was training with a straw dummy in the room alone, when he saw her approach. Her eyes had a dullness to them and he could tell she had been crying. Lilinah didn’t say a word, just walked right to him and embraced him. Her arms wrapped around his waist tight. He hugged her back, confident that he knew what had upset her. She didn’t cry, didn’t speak, didn’t shake, just held him for a minute or two. Then she let him go and left the Cistern, headed back to her home. 

After that experience, she stopped flinching when he had to touch her during training. Brynjolf was pretty damn sure that she seemed to enjoy the brief physical contact after a time. Now he sat there feeling very much like a parental figure, wanting to comfort her. 

Lilinah gave him a smile, “Thank you. I’ll be fine. I just need to...adjust to it all. Knowing they see me like that changes things.” 

“Aye,” he smiled back, “You tell me if they do more than you want and I’ll set them straight.” He patted her knee and stood up, heading to his private room. 

Lilinah slid herself under the sheet on her bed, trying to get some sleep. Part of her felt uncomfortable in what had become her home. She had avoided any intimacy after the assault in Windhelm and she wasn’t sure she was ready to start that chapter of her life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lilinah lives on her parents' farm near Windhelm. When her father falls ill, she and her mother have to pick up the slack. Lilinah has to take the job of bringing their produce to the market in Windhelm. After she sells what she brought, she gets attacked by a drunken Nord man (she was only 14). Her only way to escape was to kill him with a dagger she had hidden. She takes the incident hard, unable to shake the feeling she did something wrong for killing the man. Her father passes, so her mother moves them to Riften (age 15, nearly 16). Her mother works the docks while Lilihan does odd jobs. Her mother gets sick and Lilinah can't afford to care for both of them. Brynjolf notices her malnourished, desperate state and offers her a job and invites her to join the guild. In the two years that follow she becomes a great thief, but she still can't handle to the idea of killing anyone. She also cannot stand being touched at all, especially by Nord men. After her mother's passing, she overcomes some of that fear with Brynjolf (who has taken it upon himself to protect her), and Brynjolf only. Now that she is an adult (18), other members of the guild have taken notice of her in a sexual light. Lilinah doesn't know if she's ready to let her guard down enough to let someone into her heart (and other places).


	2. Brynjolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lilinah has a lot of issues, including daddy issues. EnjoyXXX

*1 year later, Lilinah aged 19* 

Lilinah was given the monumental task of breaking into Goldenglow Estate. Vex had failed and returned to the guild a little worse for wear. Brynjolf had tried to talk Mercer out of it, saying that she was still not ready but secretly he was just worried she would get hurt. Mercer wouldn’t have it. 

Brynjolf reluctantly gave her the details of the job and did his best not to let his worry come out in his voice, “Lass, be very careful. It’s best if you can do it and keep your hands clean, but do not hesitate to kill if you need to.” 

“Hopefully it won’t come to violence,” Lilinah gave him a smile to fake confidence. 

Brynjolf knew that she was scared. He could see it in the way her shoulders stiffened and mouth creased at the sides. He knew her better than anyone by now, so there was no hiding her emotions with him. Except for one. Brynjolf had never picked up on the fact she was developing feelings for him. He was much older than her, so the idea of her wanting him didn’t even cross his mind. To him she was still that frail girl in the market. He saw her off as she climbed up the ladder to the city, giving him a wave and a fake smile. 

Getting to the Estate was a pain. Lilinah had to swim. Her leather armor would not do well getting soaked like that. With regret, she stripped the jacket off. She wore a dark tunic under it, but she had no other pants so she had to deal with getting those wet. She stashed the jacket in a tree that had a hole it it, confident it wouldn’t get stolen. 

The water was cold, sending shivers down her spine. She came to the side of the estate that held a door away from the bandits that guarded the building. Within a few moments, she had the lock picked and carefully stepped in. There were a few guards, but she timed her movement to pass through both of their pacings. There was a gate that needed to be picked that was in a direct path of a guard. Taking a chance she grabbed a plate and chucked it to the other side of the building. It alerted the two guards and she moved quickly to pick the lock. It wasn’t a particularly challenging one, but because it was only a matter of minutes before they spotted her. Her hands were shaking and she broke two of her picks before sliding through the gate and closing it behind her. 

In the basement there was a guard that she knew she couldn’t get passed. She wished she had an invisibility potion. She pulled out her bow, which had dried off some thankfully. Lilinah hesitantly notched an arrow and let it fly. It struck through the man’s head. It was disgusting but Lilinah didn’t feel as bad as she had when she killed that man in Windhelm. 

She creeped around the corner to see another unsuspecting guard. Thinking about her chances to sneak past him, she decided it best to just take him out. She didn’t want to risk getting caught as this was a huge man with a big axe. Another arrow notched, she missed her target this time. He turned quickly, spotting her and bringing out his weapon. Lilinah didn’t have time to use another arrow and the element of surprise was lost. 

The man swung his axe down, Lilinah rolling out of the way. She brought her daggers in her hands, not sure exactly how to handle this situation. For all her training with Brynjolf, she still had difficulty with blades. Killing someone close up like that was intimate and overwhelming. At least with a bow you could separate yourself and the person. 

He swung at her head, she barely ducked in time. She ran toward the man, slashing her daggers to his unprotected face. One managed to leave a gash from one cheek to the other. He pulled his axe back from his swing and the poll struck her back and sent her hitting the ground hard. Lilinah knew she was at a disadvantage. She continued to run around the room dodging him, running low on stamina. 

“Come on elf! Fight like you have some courage!” The bandit yelled. 

Lilinah had a sudden idea. She had been spending time practicing throwing her blades on her own. No one used the tactic in the Guild, so she was on her own for training. It was a risky move as if she missed then she would lose the weapon to protect herself. Taking a leap of faith she ran as fast as she could down the short hall by the room, turning on her heel at the end. The bandit came into view. Lilnah pulled her hand back and snapped her wrist, sending the blade tumbling in the air. As luck would have it, it sunk blade first into the man’s head. He fell back, lifeless. 

Disgusted again, Lilinah yanked her blade out of the man and cleaned it on his pants. She didn’t feel as bad with this one as the previous. It was her or him and she accepted that his death was necessary. 

Lilinah found the safe she was looking for. The lock was the most difficult she’s had to pick. It took her ten lock picks to get it cracked. Inside was just a letter and a bag of gold. The letter was a bill of sale. Lilinah was confused as to why it would be locked away, but made her way back outside. She still had to get those bee hives burned. For this task she was prepared. 

Taking out the flint she brought with her, she wrapped her arrow in some fabric she tore from the dead bandits’ clothes and struck it until it began to burn. Hoping her plan would work, she sent the arrow flying. Just as expected, the hive lit up quickly and sent guards scrambling to find her. She sent another arrow, hitting the next hive. Before she got the third one, she heard a bandit yell that he had spotted her. There was little time before they made it to her. She sent the third arrow, even though that extra time meant she was putting herself in a risky position. 

She yelped as an iron arrow struck her right arm, cutting the muscle as it was embedded deep. Another bandit was on top of her, slashing out and cutting her midsection. With no armor, the blade easily cut through her skin like butter. Blood was oozing on her as she turned and made her way to the water. She was confident that they wouldn’t follow her from there. Lilinah grabbed her bag in her left hand and held it above water as she dived in. 

Her right arm burned with each stroke she made in the water. She was sure it was damaging her even more now. Arrows rained down around her, but thankfully she made it out of range without getting hit again. Now on land again, she yanked the arrow out of her arm. She clenched her teeth to avoid screaming and drawing attention to herself. She had never been in such pain before. 

She held her armor in front of her to hide the bleeding wound on her gut from the guards. She could do nothing about the arm, but they didn’t say anything as she walked into the gates. They must have recognized her armor. The trek to the cemetery was longer than it had ever been for her. She was losing a lot of blood now from both wounds and she didn’t have enough stamina to run. 

Brynjolf was watching the ladder waiting for her return. Mercer made passing comments that he was too soft on the girl, but he ignored it. That’s why he could never lead the guild, he had always been soft. He perked up at the sound of the movement, but that quickly turned from excitement to fear. Lilinah’s injured arm protested the grip of the ladder and failed her halfway down. She hit the ground hard, barely avoiding cracking her skull on the stone. 

“What happened lass?” He grabbed the armor she was clutching and his eye grew wide at the sight of her. 

Her tunic was stained with a large amount of blood and her arm was trickling blood on the stone, “Arrow on the arm,” she coughed hard, “Dagger to the stomach.” 

Brynjolf called for the guild members to help. He scooped up her small frame in both hands and carried her bridal style to her bed. Rune threw a sheet under her to help keep her bed from getting entirely ruined. Thrynn ran to get Tonilia.

Lilinah felt herself growing unnaturally tired, “I got the job done.” 

“I know you did lass,” Brynjolf stroked her head, pushing back her wet hair. “Just stay awake for me.” 

Tonilia brought over a healing potion and Brynjolf pushed it toward Lilinah’s lips. He propped her up with one arm and poured the liquid down with the other. Lilinah drank it all, the wound on her arm stopped bleeding entirely, but the one on her stomach still wasn’t closed up. No one there knew healing magic. Tonilia, almost reluctantly, gave her another healing potion. She was sure to keep track of how much gold the elf would owe her after this. 

Confident that she was going to be okay now, Brynjolf laid her back down, “We’re going to need to get you out of those wet clothes lass.” He didn’t like the idea of having to strip her down, but he had little choice. 

“Alright but,” she hesitated, “Could everyone else just turn around.” 

“Aye,” Brynjolf turned and ordered everyone out. “I’m going to try to get this over with quickly, okay lass? I know this is uncomfortable for you.” 

“I know,” she tried to muster a smile, “I trust you Bryn.” 

He felt proud to have earned her trust, “I’ll grab you some dry clothes from your chest then we’ll get these off.” He found her a simple tunic and some loose trousers. He started with her pants since they held the most water. Lilinah stiffened when he began unlacing the pants, so he paused and looked to her face for permission to continue. She took a deep breath then relaxed under him. He removed them quickly, trying to keep his eyes from her small clothes for the sake of her privacy. 

Next Brynjolf lifted her a bit to slide the trousers on. The issue of the tunic brought another uncomfortable problem. He knew she most likely wasn’t wearing a breast band, so once he took her top off she would be fully exposed to him. Brynjolf had a hard time seeing her as a woman, but there would be no denial now. 

“You really need to start wearing a band,” he told her as he brought out his dagger to cut the ruined tunic off in an attempt to minimize moving her. 

“Didn’t have a need to,” she tried to laugh. 

Brynjolf saw past that though, taking note of how her breathing had become more rapid and the way she avoided his gaze, “I’ll need to dress the wound before we put on your tunic. I promise I’ll try to do it quickly lass.” 

She shook her head, “I know. It’s okay. If it was going to be anybody to see me, I’d rather it be you.” 

There was no denying what she meant by that. Brynjolf felt rather surprised by that. He always thought she looked to him as a father figure, but those words had him questioning it. Now that he reflected back on it as he cut her tunic, he realized the small hints of her budding affection. The fact she only let him touch her, the way she looked for him as soon as she got back from a job, the way he would catch her blush at his compliments. 

The tunic was free and Lilinah was exposed to him. He tried not to look, but when Lilinah made a gasp it snapped his attention up to her face and consequently her breasts. They may have been small, but they were mature. Brynjolf cursed himself for looking as long as he did, but Lilinah made no complaints or comments on it. Her eyes were closed and her face was relaxed as she willed herself to calm her nerves. She thought she would be embarrassed by being exposed so, but there was a different emotion there. 

Lilinah never explored her own sexuality, so she didn’t understand the feeling she had. Her body felt hot and her stomach tight. There was still some pain from her wound on her stomach as it wasn’t fully closed, but it was overshadowed. The cool air of the Cistern did nothing but make her more aware of her own heat. 

Brynolf tried to ignore the soft noises she made as he touched her to clean the caked blood from her stomach. He was suddenly wishing that he had tried to convince her to let Vex or Tonilia do this, because he was feeling really filthy from the lewd thoughts that crossed his mind and the tightening in his pants. She was making it impossible to keep things platonic. The way she mewled softly and arched her back into his touch. Brynjolf wasn’t even sure if she knew what she was doing. His other thought was worse, that she did. He was much older than her and he wouldn’t feel right bedding her given that she was still a kid when they met. 

Lilinah wasn’t trying to make noises or move, but she couldn’t help it. His touch was soft and caring. He was doing his best to make her comfortable, aware of all her emotional needs. She knew their age gap was large, but she just couldn’t help how she felt. When they first met she did find him attractive but had no interest in a Nord. Once she was of age though, Lilinah found herself pinning for his attention and approval. There were plenty of men in the guild that would have her, but they didn’t make her feel nearly as happy as Brynjolf did. 

The wound was clean now and Brynjolf was wrapping it, having to pass his hand under her back. His fingers brushed her arched back by accident and Lilinah let out an honest moan. Brynjolf’s breath caught in his throat. He paused what he was doing and looked at her face, her eyes open now looking up to the ceiling. Her breath was deep and her hands gripped the sheet. The man in Brynjolf couldn’t help himself, stroking the small of her back and earning another moan. He could hear her breathing through her mouth heavily, aroused. 

Brynjolf knew it was wrong, but having her make such lewd noises was driving him crazy. His erection was aching and painfully hard. Shamefully, he pulled the small of her back up and watched the way her mouth when slack and eyes closed. Lust clouding his judgment, he leaned down and planted a kiss on her stomach just above her bandages, close to her sternum. Her hands snapped up to his head and tangled in his hair. Lilinah didn’t know what she was doing, but instinct seemed to be kicking in. 

He groaned at the way her fingers tightened on him and moved his head to place another kiss between her breasts. His name fell from her lips, making him pull her up and kissing her lips. It was her first kiss and it was a passionate one. Brynjolf was skilled, his lips felt like they were dancing on hers. One of his hands was on the back of her head to hold her in place and the other still on the small of her back. He was pulling her flush to his body. 

Lilinah felt like she was about to burst from the heat building inside of her. Brynjolf moved his head to her breasts, sucking one while running his thumb over the other. His name fell from her lips like a prayer and just fueled him to keep going. He moved to suck on her long neck, moving a hand down her torso to her mound. 

This time when he reached the top of her pants she didn’t tense up. No, instead her body welcomed it and her legs spread to give him better access. Brynjolf ran a finger down her folds, feeling how slick she was already. His thumb rubbed her clit, making her gasp and clench her hands on his head and back. She mewled some more and he felt her whole body tighten. He rubbed in faster circles, knowing what was about to happen. Lilinah felt like an explosion of pleasure coursed through her, her first orgasm. Brynjolf let up to let her catch her breath, his erection still needy. 

“Bryn,” she said between breaths. 

“Yes lass?” He answered. 

“Please don’t stop,” her eyes pleaded with him. 

She looked so innocent and vulnerable and absolutely desirable. She was absolutely beautiful and asked for him to take her. He knew he shouldn’t have wanted her, shouldn’t have touched her like that, shouldn’t still be touching her. His hands moved to take her trousers back off, the only thing between them was her small cloth. Brynjolf’s head was telling him it was wrong, but his body felt it was so right. 

Lilinah spread her legs for him after he removed her small cloth, exposing herself fully to him. She felt self-conscious at first, but the way his eyes lit up at her eased those negative thoughts away. Brynjolf lined himself up to her entrance, not being able to handle foreplay any longer. She was tight, too tight. He could feel the resistance as he pressed forward and watched as her face gave away the signs of pain. Brynjolf knew it would be brief. He hadn’t taken anyone’s maidenhood since he was a teenager. He had forgotten just how good it felt as he bottomed out. Lilinah bit back a cry. She knew the first time hurts, but knowing didn’t make it any better. 

Brynjolf gave her body a moment to adjust to accommodate him. He could feel the little bit of blood running down. Brynjolf started in slow thrusts, even though his body was aching to just pound her senseless. He was still too protective over her to do that. Moving with more rhythm and a little harder, making sure to pull nearly out then all the way in, Brynjolf was making her produce sounds she never had before. Lilinah could feel him hit a spot inside of her that she didn’t know existed. She could nearly see stars as he began to press at it at a faster pace. 

He could feel himself getting close, between her moaning and tightness. Bringing a finger down, he massaged that sensitive nub of hers. Lilinah couldn’t take it, crying out his name like it was the only word she knew. Her climax drove his home, Brynjolf continuing to ride it out until he was soft. 

Now that the lust was clear, Brynjolf could really think about what he had done. Seeing her injured like that then aching for his touch, the dramatic differences overloaded his sensibility. Now though, he realized the mistake he made. He knew she would want something steady and romantic, and he knew he couldn’t give that to her. Like the thief he was, he had stolen something precious from her that he could never return. Guilt set in as he wiped his seed and her blood from her. 

“Bryn,” she called to him, sitting up in her bed. 

“Aye lass,” he replied, trying not to show her how panicked he was. 

“I’ve been wanting that for a while now. Thank you,” she gave him a smile. 

That sweet smile broke his heart. She trusted him. No one else. She put all her trust and faith in him and now he was about to ruin it.

Brynjolf knew it was better to do it now than draw it out, “Lass. I shouldn’t have done that.” 

“What do you mean?” she tilted her head, feeling herself start to worry at his tone. 

“You’re young and I’ve been foolish. I let what’s between my legs overrule my better senses. I’m not right for you lass. This shouldn’t have happened and it’s my fault it did,” he stood up from the bed, his pants back on now. 

“What are you saying?” He cringed at the distress in her tone. 

He sighed and ran his hand over his face. This was the hardest thing he’s ever had to do, “I’m saying this was a mistake and we can’t do this again.” 

Lilinah didn’t give him the expression he was expecting. She felt absolutely broken. She had lost her parents and now she was losing the only man she has ever trusted and given herself to. Brynjolf looked at her face for any signs of emotion, but she deadpanned. Her eyes looked far away as she silently put on her trousers and tunic. 

“Lass?” He questioned, feeling that this lack of emotional expression was far worse than having a reaction. 

Lilinah turned her head to look at him. Her face was even, not calm but not relaxed. Her lips were neither smiling nor frowning. Her brow wasn’t furrowed and there was no visible unease or shakiness to her body. “Brynjolf?” She answered. 

Using his full name for the first time in over a year felt like being stabbed to Brynjolf, “I’m sorry lass. Truly. There’s nothing wrong with you. You felt and sounded so amazing. I’m the one at fault here.” 

“I think it would be best if you just call me by my name,” there was no hint of anger or sadness in her voice, “I need to get some rest.” 

“Aye,” he walked away but turned around to see her laying on her side facing away from him. “I’m sorry Lilinah,” he said under his breath.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Brynjolf as much as the next woman, but let's face it. He's not the settling type.


	3. Rune

*the next day* 

Lilinah woke up with a feeling of emptiness. It was overwhelming. Everything she’s had keeps getting taken from her. She cursed herself for being so weak and naive. Still, she didn’t regret Brynjolf being her first, believing giving your virginity to someone you love was better than a quick romp with a stranger. Lilinah really did love the man. 

As she made her way to the flagon to break her fast, she didn’t offer her usual greetings to her fellow thieves. They all took notice as she had never passed them without a good morning. Lilinah was too kind a soul for that. Her hair was also down when she normally took the time in the morning to style it. Rune, ever the lovesick man, moved to her. 

“Hey Lil, what’s wrong?” He asked her when he caught up with her, beside her. 

“Wrong? Nothing,” she lied. 

“Oh come one Lil,” he put a hand on her shoulders to stop her. Her despair was so profound that she didn’t even flinch at the touch. “I know something is wrong. You can talk to me about it. I promise I’ll listen.” 

Her large red eyes met his brown ones, “Thank you Rune, but I would rather keep this to myself. I will be fine.” 

Rune sighed and let her go, that deadpan expression on her face made his heart ache for her. He had been pinning for the better part of a year now. Rune was pretty damn sure he loved her, but didn’t want to tell her for fear she would run from that admission. Niruin, Thrynn, and Cynric all still wanted to bed her and occasionally made attempts, but they didn’t put a lot of energy into it anymore. 

Lilinah ordered her breakfast at the bar, ignoring everyone else there. Delvin was like a father to her and sensed the shift in her emotions immediately when she didn’t offer him a smile or good morning. He moved from his usual chair to sit at the bar next to her. 

“What’s got you down?” He asked her. 

“You’re the second one today asking about it,” her tone was neither aggressive nor playful, “I’ve lost everything I cared about. Please don’t ask me to explain further.” 

She didn’t meet his gaze. Delvin decided to let it go, looking to Vekel for any ideas but he just shrugged. He was equally at a loss. Brynjolf entered the room, taking note of the air of tension in the room. Delvin was just leaving the bar back to his usual spot. 

“Good morning everyone,” he announced. 

Everyone except Lilinah turned and replied to him. Brynjolf felt a cold chill. He was the only one in the room that knew what had happened. Hoping he could give her some comfort, he sat at the bar next to her and ordered mead. 

“Good morning la- Lilinah,” he wasn’t used to using her name. 

“Brynjolf,” she replied, taking a drink from her tankard to wash down the bread she had finished. 

Brynjolf felt like he was dying a little seeing her like this. The others may not have picked up on the subtle changes in her body language, but he read them clear as day. Her body was tense when it normally relaxed around him. Brynjolf wanted to embrace her, but knew that was the wrong move to make. There set an awkward silence between them. Vekel was picking up what they put down, but said nothing. 

Lilinath finished the last of the water in the tankard then ordered honeymead. She didn’t drink often and she never drank first thing in the morning. Brynjolf’s eyes grew wide as she downed the alcohol. Lilinah just wanted to numb herself from the pain and longing in her heart. She pushed herself from the bar and approached Delvin. 

“What bedlam jobs are open?” She asked him, still not meeting his eyes. 

“We got one in Windhelm that no one else wants,” he answered, “But I’m not sure you should take it. Windhelm is not a place that Dunmers should willingly go, what with the Stormcloaks and all.” 

“I can worry about that later, I’ll take it,” she said, heading out to get her gear on and get moving. 

“Brynjolf,” Delvin looked over his shoulder to the man, “What happened to the poor girl now? I’ve never seen her like this. It’s unnerving.” 

“I hurt her,” Brynjolf replied, running his hands down his face in frustration and anger toward himself. 

“She wouldn’t be the first woman you hurt,” Vex scoffed. 

“You think I don’t know that?” He snapped, “This is different though. I was someone she trusted and I broke that trust.” 

“Well you better fix it,” Delvin narrowed his eyes, “She’s the best damn thief we got when it comes to bringing coin in.” 

“Aye,” Brynjolf finished his mead then headed to see Lilinah before she left. 

Lilinah was already changed into her guild armor and was braiding her hair while perched on her bed when Brynjolf approached. She made no remarks to him or even bothered looking at him, her eyes cast straight ahead and focusing on nothing. 

“Hey Lilinah, I want to talk to you about that job,” he sat on the far edge of her bed as to not make her feel suffocated, “If you’re going to Windhelm you should take someone with you. They really hate Dark Elves there and you may get hurt...or worse.” He shuddered at the idea of her lying dead or at the mercy of a man’s hands. 

“Well, maybe I don’t care if I get hurt,” she finally looked him in the eye, “I doubt I could be hurt anymore than I am now. Physical pain would be nothing compared to what I feel now.” 

“Please, just at least take someone with you,” He pleaded. 

“I’ll come,” Rune offered, overhearing their discussion. He hoped she would say yes so he could confess his feelings privately to her. 

“Fine,” she gave in, “But only because Rune looks happy to go. I’m not doing this for you Brynjolf.” His name sounded like venom on her lips. 

“Aye,” Brynjolf’s eyes were sad, “Be safe and come back.” 

He left the two of them to finish preparing for the trip to Windhelm. It was the last place in Skyrim he’d want to send her. He had seen their disgust of her kind with his own eyes. Lilinah may be able to fight well now, but that’s not enough when the numbers overwhelm you. 

Rune rushed to get himself ready, which didn’t take long since he was already in his armor. He packed a bag with some rations, a health potion, and a gift he had for her. When he met her back at her bed, she had finished her braid. It was long and Rune wanted nothing more than to touch it, knowing it must be soft. 

“All ready to go?” She asked him. 

“Aye,” he replied quickly. 

… 

Rune had been quiet the whole wagon ride there because he was nervous. This would be his first trip with her since she came of age. Lilinah almost exclusively worked alone, so he was surprised she accepted his offer. She didn’t try to converse with him though, her mind elsewhere. 

“We’re here,” the driver announced. 

“Thank you!” Rune said as they got off and headed to the city gates. 

Lilinah took the lead, which didn’t bother Rune as it meant he could look at her easily without her getting creeped out. The guards reluctantly let her, making rude comments about the Dunmer stinking up the city. Rune wanted to fight them both for it. 

As soon as they walked in there was a scene unfolding before them. Two men were harassing a Dunmer woman for just existing. Calling her a spy and threatening to use force on her. Rune wanted to say something, but drawing attention to yourself while on a job was a bad move. Lilinah, on the other hand, was more than happy to put her despair to use. 

“Back the fuck off you pasty bastards,” She moved between the Nords and the woman. It would have been funny given that she was so much shorter than the three of them, if not for the fact one man was willing to fight. 

“What did you say you gray skin?” He puffed his chest. 

“Oh? You’re too stupid to have figured out what I said? Let me spell it out for you,” she spoke louder and in a mocking tone, “back. The. fuck. Off.” 

“You dark whore,” he threw a left jab. 

Lilinah ducked to miss the swing and save her face from the damage. She held her fists up in a protective manner, “That all you got big guy? I thought you wanted a proper brawl?” 

“I’ll have you on the ground where you belong,” he threw a right and she blocked it with her arm. 

Her own fist came up and uppercut him. She didn’t have a lot of force behind that swing, but she didn’t need much in his drunken stupor. He fell off balance and landed on his ass. “Now get out of her and leave this woman alone before I get mad and cut your damn throat.” 

Rune was astonished. Aside from the fact the thieves guild tried not to kill people as it was bad for business, he had never seen her with such raw rage. Rune came beside her, “Are you okay Lil?” 

Before she could reply the stranger behind them spoke, “Thank you so much. Our kind needs to stick together. Heed my advice, you should get out of this city. We’re not welcomed.” 

“I won’t be staying long, but thank you for the warning,” Lilinah replied as the woman walked off to carry about her business. 

“You wouldn’t have actually killed that man, right?” Rune asked her. 

“I don’t know,” she looked down at her glass daggers, “If he attacked me again, probably.” She shrugged, “Let’s start breaking in these houses before people start getting back home.” 

Rune nodded. They decided to do their job during dusk, right before people closed up shop. Rune had broken into two houses and taken a substantial amount of items and gold. Lilinah broke into one home and pocketed all their fine jewelry. She moved to a home where a dark elf and a young nord boy were bickering. They said something about a Black Sacrament. Lilinah didn’t know what that meant, so she hurried to unlock the door while they weren’t looking. 

Lilinah could hear a child’s voice saying something about a mother. Curious, she peaked around the corner of the room to see a young boy on the ground praying with a skeleton and human remains. Candles lit the room to cast ghastly shadows. Lilinah couldn’t stop the gasp that left her throat. 

The boy jumped up, “You’re here! My prayer finally worked! The Dark Brotherhood listened!” Lilinah said nothing, still startled. “Here’s the job. I want you to kill Grelod the Kind at the Honorhall Orphanage. She is mean, often hurting us kids there. She deserves to die. Here,” he handed her an expensive looking plate, “This should cover the costs.” 

Dumbfounded, Lilinah left the house. Rune met her in front of the inn as they planned. She spoke nothing of the event, wanting to find out what the Dark Brother was before mentioning it. Rune seemed to be nervous for some reason as they headed out of the city. The wagon had left, apparently taking another client. With a curse, Lilinah led the way back to Riften on foot. 

Rune made small talk, hoping it would make it easier for him to confess to her later. They made camp about halfway to Riften. Since they hadn’t planned on traveling on foot, they had no tents. Rune started a fire to fight off the cold. They found a spot with several trees that could cut down on the amount of wind chill. 

“Lil?” Rune asked for her attention as she sat next to him by the fire, leaning on him for warmth. 

“Yes Rune?” She looked to him, some emotion back in her face now. Apparently fighting a drunk Nord helped her heal. 

“I have something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about but I hadn’t found the right time or place for it,” his voice betrayed him and showed his nervousness. 

“What’s on your mind?” She pulled herself off of him to face him, sitting with her legs crossed. 

Rune fiddled in his pack before answering, “We’ve known each other for a while now and grown close, or at least I feel that way.” He looked her in the eyes which made him even more nervous, “I want to give you this to express my feeling toward you,” he handed her a fine silver necklace with a deeply colored ruby in the center that matched her eyes. 

Lilinah couldn’t hide the surprise as her eyes grew wide, “I can’t accept this. It’s too expensive.” 

Rune chuckled a bit, “Don’t worry, I didn’t pay for it. I was going to sell it but the color reminded me of you. I want you to have it, want to see it on you.” 

Lilinah could feel herself blush and some happier emotions stirred in her, “Alright. Thank you Rune.” She gave him a smile, the first one she felt up to making. 

“I want you to know I really care about you Lil,” he brought his arms around her to latch the necklace. It fell to a perfect height right above her breasts. Rune hesitantly put a hand to her cheek, “I am hoping you had some feelings toward me.” 

She didn’t push his hand off of her, “I care about you Rune, but I get the feeling you want romance and I’m not sure I could handle that right now. I just got hurt pretty bad in that department and I wouldn’t want to lead you on and hold your attention from other potential women.” 

“That’s okay,” his smile was still there as he stroked her cheek with a thumb, “I don’t know who hurt you, but it’s their loss if they can’t see how damn perfect you are.” That time Lilinah blushed hard enough to be visible. She did care for Ruin, but she wasn’t sure if she wanted him as a partner. “Can I kiss you?” 

“I think that’ll be okay,” she laughed a little, feeling better now than she had been. 

Rune brought his lips to hers, kissing her tenderly. Lilinah felt her tension melt away as his free hand reached around and pulled her back to him. Her hands found his chest. He wasn’t the experienced kisser that Brynjolf was, but it was pleasant in its own way. She could sense just how he felt about her as the kiss grew passionate. Lilinah let out an involuntary moan as he explored her mouth with his tongue. He tasted like honey mead. Rune thought she tasted like sweet snowberries. 

Encouraged by her moan, Rune pressed himself into her until she was on her back on the one blanket she thought to pack. Her hands reached into his hair as she found herself pulling him into their kiss more. Lilinah could feel her core tighten again like it did with Brynjolf, but he wasn’t Brynjolf. It confused her. Rune was kind and caring, but she never thought much about him in this way. Now that she was under him like this she realized she could find him, at the very least, attractive. 

Her back arched without her even thinking about it. He groaned into her as she pressed up on him, bringing a hand to the small of her back. Rune’s moves were reminding her of Brynjolf’s which just made her even more aroused. She knew he wasn’t Brynjolf, but damn if it wasn’t good. Rune finally broke the kiss and moved his lips to her long neck, pressing lightly on her skin. 

“Rune,” she breathed, “Wait a moment.” 

He reluctantly pulled himself off, still holding her back, “Did I go too far?” 

“No, it feels good,” he smiled at that, “I just didn’t want you to do this and expect for me to enter into some sort of committed relationship. I can’t handle that. Divines, I’m not sure I can handle this but I want it.” 

“I don’t want to pressure you into anything,” his voice genuine, “If you’ll have me for this night and never again, I would still be a happy man.” 

Lilinah leaned up and took his lips in hers. Knowing that he wasn’t expecting her to do anything or even asking her to gave her enough comfort to continue. She felt for a moment she was using him to rebound, which she was, but that it wasn’t all bad since he wanted it. 

Rune parted from her lips and started unbuckling her jacket. He could only imagine how perfect she must look naked. Lilinah did the same, wanting to feel his skin against hers to fight off the cold air around them. She was thankful that they were doing this during the warm season, otherwise she would be way too cold for this. 

Free of her jacket, Rune lifted her tunic up. As always, Lilinah hadn’t worn a breast band so he had direct access to them. With his jacket and tunic off free from his body, he laid her back onto the blanket and kissed her from the bottom of her chin, down her neck, and to her breast. He took one dark areola in his mouth while teasing the other with his thumb. Lilinah wiggled and mewled under him, her nethers seeking any friction they could get. 

Rune took the hint, moving to unlace her pants and slide them off with her boots. He froze for a moment, taken over by the sight of her fully exposed to him. Her deep blue skin contrasted perfectly with the snow around them. Wanting to finish the beautiful artwork she was, he reached for her braid, pulling the strip that held it together. Unsure what he was doing, Lilinah lifted herself up enough for him to finish pulling the braid out. He gently pushed her back down with a smile. With her hair fanned out now, she was perfect. Rune swore that Dibella had nothing on her. 

“I’m starting to feel rather embarrassed being the only one naked,” she commented. 

“Oh!” He immediately started removing his last articles of clothing, “I’m sorry, you are just so breathtaking.” 

Lilinah felt hot from the compliment. Rune was larger than Brynjolf in every way. Lilinah wasn’t sure her small frame could handle all of him. He brought his body over hers, lining himself up to her entrance. 

“Be gentle with me Rune,” she cupped her hands on either side of his face, “I’ve only done this once before.” 

“Truly?” He didn’t believe it, “I thought someone as beautiful as you would have many suitors. I will be careful with you.” 

She nodded her head and he began to push himself in. He thought for a moment she wouldn’t be physically able to enter her, but with a little back and forth he managed to squeeze in. Lilinah felt like he was going to rip her in half. He filled her entirely and forced her walls to stretch to the breaking point. Rune was doing his best to be easy on her, but he couldn’t help that he had a large member. 

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked her, looking at the pain on her face. 

“No,” she leaned up to kiss him, “I want to be able to handle this.” 

Rune moved one hand down to her clit, rubbing it to help her relax. It took a few moments, but her pain gave way to pleasure. She rocked her hips as he stayed bottomed out. He was a little afraid to start thrusting yet, not wanting to keep hurting her. 

“I can handle it now,” she looked up at him with those jewel-like eyes. 

Rune pulled himself out then back in again, her walls still tight but not painfully so. He had heard from other guild members that the Bosmers and Dunmer were tight because of their small frame, but he didn’t believe it until now. Rune picked up the pace, keeping his thumb rubbing in circles on her sensitive nub. Lilinah felt her core tighten and get ready to release like a coil. Rune started to twitch, his thrusts becoming more erratic. 

“Where can I put it?” He asked her desperately. 

“On me,” she answered just before her climax hit. 

Rune pulled out at the last second, finishing on her stomach. Lilinah tried to catch her breath as Rune took out a cloth from his pack to wipe her off with. He couldn’t stop looking at her. He wanted to unravel her like this everyday. 

“You felt amazing, “he cooed as he stroked her hair, laying on the blanket with her. 

“You did amazing,” she laughed. Some life had come back to her. 

“We should probably get dressed before it gets too cold,” he handed her her armor. 

“Aye,” she replied, feeling quite a bit happier.


	4. Feeling Better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little thing I did of Lilinah

Lilinah wasn’t back to her old self, but she did feel functionally better. She was back at the guild, having slept most of the morning away since her and Rune came back so late. Brynjolf didn’t want to upset her, so he questioned Rune on how everything went. Rune seemed happier than usual, but Brynjolf imagined it was because he got to spend some time with her. He did not, however, imagined they fucked nor did Rune tell him. Rune knew how sensitive Lilinah was on the subject, so he didn’t feel right telling anyone that she didn’t explicitly say she wanted to know. It would get out eventually, but for now Rune’s lips were sealed tight.

Lilinah washed up then dressed herself in a new outfit. She put on another low cut type tunic that was a nice shade of tundra cotton with red embroidery and a new pair of black leather leggings. Her boots came to her knees, made of the same leather as the pants with a red ribbon lacing them. She wrapped her hair up into a bun using two small silver rods that stuck out at the top and bottom. In an attempt to make herself feel better, she made up her face to highlight her cheeks and big eyes. Her lashes were coated in a fine charcoal and her lips with a pigment she bought made of snowberries and red mountain flowers. It complimented her eyes well, making them even more prominent. Finally, she adorned herself with the ruby amulet that Rune gifted her.

Lilinah surprised herself when she looked in the mirror in the washroom. She never really thought herself pretty as the standard of beauty in Skyrim is pale skin, blue eyes, and blonde hair. Seeing herself now, like this, even she couldn’t deny it. Lilinah knew she was going to turn heads, but she wanted that. She wanted the attention, thinking it may give her a boost and pull her a little farther from the dump she was in.

She headed to the flagon before going into the city, wanting to see how much Tonilia would give her for the fancy plate. By the weight and look of it, she figured it was made of silver. Much as expected, everyone in the Cistern was watching her with slacked jaws. Niruin was the first to spot her, his arrow missing the target. Cynric saw her on the way to the flagon and stopped in his tracks, dumbfounded. Lilinah didn’t stop her stroll, moving right past him with a hello. What was surprising to her, was that Mercer had looked up at his desk at her. He never gave her much attention unless he had a special job he wanted her to handle. Even his face gave a hint of expression that wasn't negative, something new for him.

Inside the flagon Thrynn, Delvin, and Brynjolf sat at the first table together. Brynjolf was facing the secret entrance and thus was the first to see her. He had been in the middle of a story but just stopped talking, looking at her with the biggest eyes she’s seen on him. Delvin and Thrynn looked up after he did, Thrynn choking on his mead. Delvin was growing a blush. Rune and Vekel were at the bar. Vekel nodded to her and Rune jumped from his stool on his feet. Vex met her eyes but offered nothing but her usual scowl. Dirge didn’t bother turning until everything grew silent. He nearly tripped himself into the water when he saw her.

“Good afternoon everyone,” she spoke as if nothing was different, strolling over to Tonilia with the plate.

“Well aren’t you dressed up,” Tonilia astutely pointed out, “Hope you don’t think this will give you a discount.”

“Of course not,” Lilinah handed her the plate, which she inspected thoroughly.

“I can give you 100. It looks like it’s made of silver and gold,” Tonilia handed the pouch of coin to her, “Try not to spend it all in one place.”

“Can’t promise I won’t this time,” Lilinah winked at her.

Tonilia threw her hands up defensively, “I don’t want to know.”

Lilinah gave an honest laugh at that, the first one that really made her feel something like joy. When she turned from the fence, she found all eyes were still on her. Rune was making his way toward her. Brynjolf still looked just as wide-eyed. He looked like he wanted to take her, which made her feel all the better. She wanted to show him exactly what he threw away.

“Where are you going like that? Is today a special day for Dark Elves or something?” Rune asked.

Lilinah tilted her head, “A special day? No. Just heading up to the city to enjoy some of the coin we earned in Windhelm.”

“Mind some company?” He questioned with his eyes cast away and a slight blush. He was very endearing.

“Why not?” She gave him a smile and made her way back to the Cistern.

“Lass?” Brynjolf’s voice made her turn to face him, with a hand on her hip.

“What?” Her voice was bitter.

“You don’t normally wear all this getup to go out,” he looked her up and down again, “Is something wrong?”

Lilinah gave him a smile. Not something nice or humorous, but a wicked turn on her lips, “I don’t know Brynjolf. Is something wrong?”

She took pride in making him squirm uncomfortable under her glare, “Sorry Lilinah, just surprised me is all.” Everyone was moving their eyes between their second and Lilinah.

“You’re the one with plenty of surprises,” she said as she turned, leaving him staring after her.

“What’s she talking about Bryn?” Delvin asked.

“Nothing,” Brynjolf stood and followed Lilinah.

Lilinah was getting the attention she wanted. Nearly every man looked like they wanted to fuck her and almost every woman looked jealous. Normally, Lilinah would try her hardest not to draw anyone’s eyes, but she wasn’t on a job now. No, now she was on display. Rune couldn’t stop smiling, seeing her wearing his amulet. He knew she didn’t give herself to him wholey, but it was enough to just have her think of him.

“Well, well,” Hemming Black-Briar moved himself from his mother’s hip to Lilinah, who was speaking with Madesi about finding some materials for him while looking over his wares. Lilinah looked up at him, “What is a jewel like you doing in Riften?”

“Excuse me?” She knew who he was, but he clearly didn’t remember her from their few encounters before.

“You dear. You look like you belong in a palace, not among the common people,” he reached for the hand she didn’t offer and placed a kiss on it. Rune moved to strike the man but Lilinah brought her other hand up to stop him. “I am Hemming Black-Briar, maybe you heard of me?”

“I believe I have sir,” Lilinah fell into the role, not wanting to risk offending a member of the family that is the guild’s best backer. “Your attire suits your stature.”

“My Mother spares no expense where I'm concerned. I'm heir to the family fortune after all,” he tried to puff his chest to give an air of musculature, “I was trained by some of the finest warriors in all Skyrim to wield a blade as if it was an extension of my own arm. Perhaps you would like to come by my manor and see it?”

Lilinah tried to hide her disgust, “That’s quite the offer sir, but I’m afraid I already made plans today with my friend here.” Rune made himself more visible, his huge arms crossed. He really was the biggest Imperial she’s ever seen.

“Ah,” Hemming backed up a bit, “You’ll have to swing by some other time then.”

“Of course,” Lilinah lied, trying not to laugh at the way he ran back to his mom.

“You should have let me hit that guy,” Rune huffed, “Black-Briar or not, he shouldn’t touch you like that without your permission.”

“Sometimes you have to deal with some discomfort for the greater good. If he found out a guild member struck him, then Maven could have you booted and the guild pressed,” She explained, “Thank you for wanting to stand up for me though.” She stood on her tip toes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

Rune blushed hard at the public display. Brynjolf saw it from the other side of the market. He had been stalking her for a while now. Seeing her kiss his fellow guild member made him feel rather jealous. He had expected her to find someone that wasn’t in the guild to give her heart to. Someone who could give her a better, steady life. Brynjolf didn’t want her to stay in this life, which is one of the biggest reasons he let her go. If she was just going to stay anyways, he would rather she be warming his sheets. Brynjolf struggled with the emotions he was feeling. She had just looked so damn tempting. Her outfit was provocative and just made her all the more alluring.

Lilinah continued to look around the market with Rune at her side. Several other men came to proposition her, each one getting rejected. The guards made lewd comments as she passed them. Brynjolf could hear two guards near him speaking about all the different vulgar things they would do to her in different positions. He made a mental note to pick their pockets later. Rune was keeping an eye out for Lilinah. He knew she could handle herself, but he found himself protective of her. He knew that they may only be friends from here on out, but that didn’t mean he wouldn’t look out for her.

“Oh my!” Lilinah walked quickly to a produce stand, dragging Rune by the arm.

“What is it?” Rune asked, curious at what she could possibly be excited about.

“Sweet rolls,” she nearly moaned the words, sending shivers straight to his cock.

“We have sweet rolls back in the guild. What made you excited about those?” Rune was confused and was trying to adjust his now half staffed member without drawing her 1attention.

“These are FRESH,” she emphasized, “the ones Vekel has are often stale. I have to have one.”

“I knew you liked them but I didn’t think you liked them this much,” he replied as she paid the stall vendor and grabbed two of them.

She handed on to him, “A fresh sweet roll to me is better than an orgasm.”

Rune choked on the bite he took of the roll at her words. Lilinah laughed at him, licking the icing off the roll in her best attempt to be seductive. He was full staff now, thankful for once that his trousers were tight enough to keep it from tenting. Lilinah noticed though, looking down and back up slowly with her eyebrow raised.

“Sorry,” he looked away from her, “It’s not intentional.”

“Of course not,” she took a big bite of her sweet roll and couldn’t help but smile while she chewed. What she said was true, the sweet goodness of a sweet roll was better than an orgasm. A sweet roll is better than a man too. Sweet rolls don’t break your heart.

“Where are we going?” Rune asked her as she led him behind the Temple of Mara, “Not planning to get married, I hope.” If she was, he didn’t think he could say no.

“You wish,” she took his hand and pulled him in front of her on a stone wall, out of sight from the people busying about the city.

“I’m confused,” he admitted.

“I want to help you out here,” she said, suddenly feeling very embarrassed.

“You mean...here?” Rune was slow, but not stupid.

“If you’d like. I’ve never really done this before, so I’m not sure it would be any good,” she averted her eyes.

Rune grinned, “I wouldn’t say no to you Lil.”

Lilinah smiled, bringing herself to her knees and unlacing his pants. Rune groaned as she took his impressive length in her delicate hands, stroking him. He put his hands on the wall in front of him, not wanting to ruin her hair in that pretty updo.

Lilinah hesitantly licked the length of his shaft and swirled her tongue around his head. Rune bucked a bit at the sensation, wanting nothing more than to just throw her against the wall and ravish her. He wasn’t the only one thinking that as Brynjolf now had them in his view. They both watched as she started to take him in her mouth. As it turned out, Lilinah was one of the few that did not have some form of gag reflex. The mens’ eyes grew wide as she completely bottomed him out. Rune moaned in earnest, never having a woman do that before. Brynjolf found himself wishing that he asked her to do that while they were together.

Lilnah pulled her head back, “Is this okay?”

Rune smiled at how she could look so tantalizing while sounding so guileless, “It’s great Lil.”

“What do you want me to do?” She asked.

“What you just did, but thrust on me like I would you,” he tried to explain.

Lilinah brought him back in her mouth, bobbing her head back and forth. Rune was soon starting to thrust himself to match her pace. She was going quicker than he would have expected for this being her first time. He liked to see the way his amulet bounced against her skin while she moved. From his angle, Brynjolf could see how her throat moved to compensate for Rune’s erection. He found himself feeling even more jealous for two reasons now. The Imperial had size on him.

“Ah, don’t stop,” Rune grunted, feeling himself nearing his climax.

Doing as told, Lilinah kept blowing him until he spilt inside of her. She was taken back by just how hard it came out. It was salty, but not entirely unpleasant. In fact, it complimented the sugar she just consumed.

“Divines,” was all Rune could manage as he leaned his head on the wall, watching her swallow his seed.

“I take it I did good for my first try?” She stood up as he laced his pants back on.

“Damn good,” he leaned his body into hers against the stone wall, “I might just have to return the favor later.”

Lilinah averted her eyes to the ground, feeling flustered from her excursion. Rune kissed her forehead before letting her take the lead into the city again. He thought to himself that this girl would be the death of him. Brynjolf decided after that it would be best to return to the guild, not wishing to torture himself with what he can’t have any longer.

…

“..and he told me it was this big!” Lilinah was perched on a barrel at the flagon telling a story to the vast majority of the guild.

“Bullshit!” Thrynn shouted as the other’s laughed.

“It’s true!” Rune replied, “I was right there.”

“That’s not all though,” Lilinah added, “He asked me if my oven was big enough for it.” The room burst into laughter, except of course for Vex.

Brynjolf watched from his place leaning on the stone wall in front of her. One leg was pulled up to her chest with her foot planted on the rim of the barrel, her other hanging down but far from reaching the ground. Her elbow was on her knee and she leaned forward slightly as she finished the tale. It had been a while since she told her stories of encounters with so much energy. Brynjolf was happy she appeared to be recovering from him, but he wasn’t sure he was recovering from her. He was pinning and Brynjolf was not the kind of man that pinned for any woman. Women pinned for him, not the other way around.

“Tell us another!” Rune shouted and got some ayes from their audience.

“Only if you get me a bit drunker,” she took the tankard from his hand and chugged it. Thrynn started a little chant to encourage her. “Now,” she started, “When I was growing up, my ma was very protective of me. I was her only surviving child after all and we were living near Windhelm of all places.” She grabbed Rune’s mead bottle from his hands and finished what he had left off. He laughed as she handed him the bottle. “So my da got pretty sick when I passed my fourteenth winter and it was up to me to take our produce to the city to sell,” she was beginning to slur and Brynjolf got worried at where this story was about to go. “Well when I got there-”

“Lilinah!” Brynjolf bolted toward her, “You’ve had too much to drink, you don’t want to tell this story.” He reached a hand to her knee.

She swiped it away. “Fuck off carrot top,” she snorted at him, “I’m sure I got a story you wouldn’t want me to tell.” She nearly hissed at him. Brynjolf felt all the eyes in the room on him as he retreated to the far side. “Anyway-where did I leave off?” She looked to Rune.

“You were bringing the goods to market,” he informed her, entirely unaware of the turn this story would take.

“Yes! So I made-made it Windhelm on my horse. He was a prick too, but that’s another story. So after I get everything sold, this big nord,” she emphasized the point by throwing her hands up and nearly toppled over, “He grabbed me by the shoulder talking about a fun game.” She took the tankard Rune had just got from him and everyone laughed. “I’ll pay you later,” she winked at him before tossing this one back. The wink did not go unnoticed, “He started going under my dress.” The once cheerful faces turned rather serious.

“Lilinah,” Rune tried to intervene, “I don’t think this is the kind of story you mean to be sharing like this.”

“Ah to the Void with it,” she hiccuped a bit, “He didn’t stop, so I grabbed my dagger and ran it through his chest! It wasn’t enough, so he got one more in the throat.” The eyes on her were not joyous now, “I was so upset for so long about it. Can you believe I felt guilty for that?” Lilinah was the only one laughing now.

“Rune, you ought to take her to her bed. She’s had one too many,” Brynjolf said, not moving toward her this time.

“Aye,” Rune stood in front of her to help her down.

Lilinah never really let herself get drunk for fear of how she might act and this was a prime example why. As soon as Rune extended his hands to grab her arms to hoist her up, she wrapped her legs like an iron cage on his waist. Before he had time to react she was on his lips. It was sloppy and on display for everyone.

“Go Rune!” Thrynn cheered, once again bringing the flagon to a lighter air.

“It was going to be one of us eventually!” Cynric shouted.

“A drink to that,” Niruin added, clanking tankards with the other two men.

Lilinah finally broke away from him as he awkwardly carried her to her bed. The tavern was drinking and laughing again, mostly about the new couple in the guild. The only thing close to a pairing they had currently was just Delvin pinning for Vex. Now they had a juicy subject to gossip over like old maids.

“I want to go back,” Lilinah said as Rune closed the panel of the bookshelf with his foot.

“You had too much fun for one night,” he chuckled as she pouted at him.

“No I haven’t,” she smirked at him.

“What?” He was curious.

“I think I remember something about a favor being returned?” She brought her face to his neck and nibbled at his ear lobe.

“Aye,” he gripped her a little tighter, “I can do that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Up next: Meeting Cicero


	5. A Strange Little Jester

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally, time for the ship to reach the port

Lilinah woke the next morning with the worst hangover in her young life. She was thankful that she was clothed and all her things were where she left them. Lilinah vowed that she would never drink like that again. 

Rune saw her stir awake and approached her quickly,” You’re awake, how do you feel?” 

“My head is killing me and I have no memory of last night. Tell me I didn’t do something I’ll regret?” She asked. Rune averted his gaze. “By the Void, what did I do?” 

“You told everyone about what happened to you as a child in Windhelm,” he started, “Then you began to throw yourself on me and kiss me in front of just about everyone. Now they are all gossiping about us being an item.” Lilinah groaned and put her face in her hands. “Do you remember at all what I did?” She shook her head no. “Well, I’ll just have to repeat it next time we have a little privacy.” He winked at her. 

“I’m going to assume drunk me enjoyed whatever you did, so sober me looks forward to it,” she laughed, then grabbed her head because laughing made it hurt worse. “I’m going to need a healing potion.” She bent down to her chest and pulled out the little red bottle, downing it. 

“Would you like to get something to eat together?” He hesitantly asked. 

“Probably be best if we don’t, or else everyone’s tongue will wag more,” she replied, noting how the expression on his face went from excitement to disappointment. 

It was that very thing happening now that was the reason she didn’t want to go steady with him. Lilinah hates disappointing people and hurting their feelings. She gathered her armor as Rune left to the flagon, it seemed he was waiting for her to wake up before he broke his fast. Her heart went out to him. Rune was a good man and an even better lover, but Lilinah just didn’t share the same feelings for him that he harbored toward her. 

She didn’t take too long to get ready. Washing herself quickly and using a fire spell to dry, she put on her guild armor and braided her hair into two strands on either side of her head that started at her hair line and went all the way down to end. Her makeup from the previous day was still on. She cleaned it from her face before heading to Delvin for her next job. 

“Well, well,” Delvin started, “If it isn’t our favorite story teller.” 

Lilinah put a hand behind her head, “So I’ve been told.” 

“What can I do for ya?” He asked as she sat at the table. 

“Got any good fishing jobs? It’s been a while since I took one,” she asked. 

“Actually, I do,” he took out a folded piece of parchment, “Innkeeper in Rorikstead just inherited a very valuable necklace.” 

“I’ll take it,” Lilinah took the note and smiled. 

She grabbed some bread to eat on the road. Rorikstead was a while away, so she wanted to be on a carriage ride quickly. She didn’t say goodbye to anyone, not wanting to risk running into Rune. Lilinah knew he’d want to come and she wanted time alone to think and process how her life was going so far. 

Her driver only took her as far as Whiterun stables. She would have to hoof it the rest of the way there. It was fine with Lilinah though. Her target was in the inn and it would be less suspicious to rob the man if she had just paid for a room. It was getting rather dark by the time she made it to Whiterun, so when she was approaching Rorikstead night had fallen entirely. 

“Agh!” She heard a man yell out. Her hands instinctively came to her daggers. “Bother and Befuddle! Stuck here! Stuck!” 

“Are you okay?” Lilinah asked the stranger who was clad in a jester’s outfit. He was an Imperial, only a few inches taller than her. 

“Ah! Cicero is stuck! My mother, poor mother. Unmoving! At rest, but too still,” he exuberantly said to her. 

“Alright, what’s wrong?” She questioned, too curious about the unique man to just walk away. 

“Can’t you see?!” He motioned toward a broken wheel, “Cicero and his mother are stuck! Stuck! Ahhh the wagon wheel, damndest wagon wheel!” 

“Is there some way I can help? I don’t know how to repair a wheel but I could probably find someone,” Lilinah wasn’t sure why she was offering to help, but she felt a strange pull to the little man in front of her. 

“Oh? Oh yes!” The man started dancing in a ridiculous fashion, “Yes, the kindly stranger can certainly help!” Lilinah laughed out loud at his dancing, holding a hand over her mouth to try and stop. “The kind stranger finds Cicero amusing? She is too kind! Too pretty to be giving Cicero her time.” Lilinah stopped laughing and felt herself blush at the compliment. She never got attention like that when she was wearing this armor that covered everything and hung in some places. “Go to Loreius Farm, he has the tools but refuses to help poor Cicero! Convince him to help poor Cicero and get rewarded with coin! 

“I’ll see if I can talk to him,” Lilinah replied, getting another jig from the jester that made her laugh again as she walked away. 

Cicero was happy to make her laugh. Her face lit up when she smiled. The dark elf was the first person since he started his journey to laugh at his exuberant behavior. It was all the better that she was beautiful too. Too beautiful for Cicero, he thought. 

“Excuse me? Loreius?” She got the attention of the man on his porch. 

“Oh for the love of Mara. What now?” the large man spat. 

“That jester down the road, he really needs his wagon fixed. He has coin to pay you with for your help,” Lilinah explained. 

“That Cicero fella? Tell me something I don’t know. He won’t take no for an answer. Why can’t he just leave us alone?” The man replied. 

“Well, I’m sure he would if his wagon could move right now,” Lilinah was growing impatient at the rude man. 

“That’s not my problem! There ain’t been a merryman in Skyrim in these parts for a hundred years. He’s crazy and I’ll have nothing to do with it. He can walk into the city and find someone to help,” Loreius said. 

“It’s clearly not about money or his profession,” Lilinah observed, “Why won’t you help the poor man?” 

“He says he’s transporting that coffin to bury his ‘mother,’” Lilinah raised a brow at the man, “He could have anything in there. Weapons, skooma? I’m not getting involved.” 

“Seriously? Why would he lie about burying his mother? Can’t you just help him out?” Lilinah was angry now. 

“There’s a guard that passes this road often. Why don’t you tell him that jester done something illegal and get him out of my hair? I’d pay you for it.” He offered. 

“Or how about I report you for something...say attacking me? Forcing yourself on a defenseless woman just traveling by?” She saw him sweat, “That’s what I thought. Now go help the damn fool or I’ll go get the guard.” 

“Damn you,” he spat on the ground at her feet, “I’ll do it, but it can wait til the morning.” 

“So be it,” Lilinah said and made her way back to the jester. 

“The kindly stranger returns!” Cicero announced to no one as she approached his wagon. 

“Aye,” she was blushing again but didn’t know why, “I convinced him to help, but he won’t do it until the morning.” 

“You what? Oh stranger! You’ve made Cicero and his Mother so happy!” He began to move his feet and jump around, “Jubilant! Ecstatic!” He held out a pouch to her, “Here! Shiny, clinky gold. For your good deed.” 

Lilinah chuckled and pushed his hand and the pouch back toward him, “That’s alright. You can keep your coin.” 

“The stranger is kind and humble? Oh Cicero likes you!” He clapped his hands and danced harder. 

“You’re too much,” Lilinah held her stomach as she laughed. She had never seen someone look so absolutely stupid, and that’s saying a lot since she knew Dirge. 

“Cicero must pay the pretty, pretty stranger,” he tapped a finger to his chin in thought, “Perhaps the stranger is hungry?” 

Lilinah wanted to say no, but she was practically starving, “Alright. To the inn?” 

“Ah yes! Cicero and the stranger,” he led the way with a bouncy walk. 

Lilinah saw her target. The innkeeper was at the bar with the necklace on him. It was gold with many diamonds in it. Cicero told her to order what she wanted, so she had the man prepare some venison and stewed potatoes. They were seated in the corner of the inn, a place where the thief could size up her mark without looking suspicious. 

“Cicero would like to thank the stranger again!” His voice fluctuated a lot, “Could lowly Cicero have your name?” 

“My name?” She raised her brow at that, not sure if she should be honest or lie. She figured it wouldn’t hurt to say the truth because it was very unlikely that they would ever meet again, “Lilinah.” 

“Ah yes! Such a lovely name for such a lovely elf,” he grinned at her. 

She could feel her face get hot. No one had ever been so straightforward and consistent with complimenting her before. Cicero noticed the slight red hue to her cheeks, making him hard at the sight. It had been years since he had a chance to sate those primal desires. This woman before him was just too nice and too alluring for him not to flatter and possibly manage to bed. 

“Are you normally this way to the women you just met, or is it just me?” Lilinah chuckled to try and mask her embarrassment. 

“Only you Lilinah,” he leaned a little closer to her, “She needn’t be embarrassed around Cicero.”

She got called out, “Embarrassed? No, not at all.” 

“The stranger is a bad liar,” he laughed, “Cicero likes to make her laugh though. Lilinah’s whole face shines like a star.” 

“I’m starting to think you’re just trying to get into my bed,” Lilinah stated, taking a bite of the deer that was just brought to her. Cicero just had a sweet roll and some carrots. She found that was probably more strange than the way he spoke in third person. 

“Cicero wouldn’t dream of an attractive woman such as you to lower herself to lay with him,” he hoped she would though. 

“Attractive huh?” She paused to look the man over now that they had better lighting. Just as Brynjolf taught her, she sized up her target. He actually wasn’t bad looking. Not the most attractive man she’s seen, but definitely in the top half. What was more surprising was how those jester clothes hid the fact he was very well muscled. If she wasn't looking for it, she wouldn’t have noticed. Just the slight way the fabric clung or moved here and there. 

“Does Lilinah find Cicero attractive too? For she is staring like she does,” he smiled at her. There was the slightest hint of something deadly behind those mischievous eyes. 

“She finds you acceptable,” she drank some water from her tankard. He looked like he was about to jump up and dance. “However,” his smile faded quickly, “She sees that you are hiding something dangerous.” 

Cicero’s face turned serious at her accusation, but he kept the cheerful tone, “Cicero? Why Cicero is harmless.” 

“That ebony dagger begs to differ,” she snorted. 

“Why is it for protection!” He was getting defensive. 

“And I’m going to be High Queen of Skyrim,” she laughed even though he wasn’t. “Hey, lighten up. I’m not trying to start anything. Just making sure you know that you’re not going to pull a fast one on me.” 

“Cicero would never,” he pouted a bit, “Cicero wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Lilinah chuckled some more and Cicero couldn’t stop himself from joining her. 

“Well Cicero,” she stood up, “I thank you for the meal. I’m afraid I need to turn in for the night. Maybe we’ll see each other again.” 

“Cicero hopes to see Lilinah again,” he extended his hand to ask for hers. Hesitantly she held her hand out and he kissed the back of her hand. Between the gesture and the way he looked up through his lashes with hungry eyes, Lilinah could feel herself pool. 

Cicero saw it, saw that he made her flustered. He watched her leave to her room, halfway thinking of sneaking in and killing her. Oh how he could make such beautiful, bloody art with her. She had helped him though, so he would allow her to live.


	6. Deathbell

Lilinah woke up fairly early, hoping she may see the mysterious jester again, but when she looked out of the inn his wagon was gone. Sighing, she gathered her things. She had stolen the necklace in the middle of the night while the innkeeper was sound asleep. It was like taking candy from a baby. Right before putting away the last artifact of hers, she noticed something she hadn’t when she stirred awake. Beside her pillow on the bed was a deathbell flower. Although she couldn’t be completely sure, she was confident it was from Cicero. 

Lilinah didn’t like the idea of him being able to sneak in while she slept, although he may have planted it while her room was open during her fishing. Curious, she took the flower. It was simple and may not have really meant anything, but she wasn’t one to accept gifts. Since she was left with no option to refuse, she decided to keep it. She lifted a loaf of bread as she left the inn and made her way back to the carriage at Whiterun stables. 

On the ride back to Riften she couldn’t stop thinking about Cicero. Who he was and why he was. It was clear to her the man was mad, but something had to have caused that. She knew he wasn’t born that way because she could catch him slipping. It was so subtle that she almost didn’t see the change, but there were brief moments of complete clarity between all his laughing and dancing. His eyes hid something sinister. 

Lilinah didn’t stop thinking about it until she was back in the Cistern and Brynjolf called out to her, “Lilinah.” 

“You called?” She put a hand on her hip while she stood in front of him. Mercer was nearby at his desk. 

“Just wanted to check in with you. You got pretty drunk the other day,” there was a slight blush to his cheeks, “I worried about you.” 

“Worried about me? Why?” She tilted her head at him. 

“You know I care about you las-Lilinah,” he corrected himself. 

“Do I?” She met his eyes with an intense gaze, her red irises like fire that burned him. 

“Yes. I’m still really sorry about what happened before. Why don’t you let me try to help you through it?” Brynjolf tried his best. 

“I don’t think this is one of the situations where you can fix your mistake,” she was about to walk away but turned back, “Just to be clear, it wasn’t a mistake to me. I wouldn’t change the fact it happened even if I were able to go back and stop it. The issue isn’t that it happened, it’s that you left.” 

Before Brynjolf could wrap his brain around her words and respond, she was already halfway to the Flagon. He cursed and turned back to Mercer, who was looking over some plans for a heist. 

“I don’t know what happened between you two,” Mercer didn’t look up at him, “But it better not affect your work.” 

“Of course,” Brynjolf ran his hands down his face in frustration and gathered himself before returning to help Mecer with the plans. 

Lilinah went to see Delvin first to drop off the locket. He paid her well and told her about some number jobs if she wanted them. She declined for the moment, drawing suspicion but no one said anything out loud. She could hear Rune’s steps following her back to the Cistern. 

“Lil!” He came beside her as she kept moving. 

“How’s it going Ru?” She liked their nicknames. 

“Fine. Did a bedlam here in Riften. How was your fishing trip?” He asked, arching his brow as she reached in her pouch to pull out the deathbell. 

“Interesting. The job was easy, but I met someone very...something,” She looked over the flower for damage from the trip. 

“Something? I don’t understand. What’s with the flower?” Rune was asking too many questions. 

“It was a gift,” she ignored the rest of his questions, moving to her chest for an old book and some parchment. 

“What are you doing with it?” Rune questioned as she placed the flower between the parchment and closed the book hard on it. 

“Preserving it,” She answered. 

“Did that someone mean so much to you?” His voice was laced with jealousy. 

“What’s the problem Rune?” She already knew, but wanted him to say admit it. 

“Nothing just, strange that you would accept a gift like that and care to keep it,” he averted his gaze. 

“Rune?” Lilinah brought his eyes back on hers, “We both know what’s bothering you. If this is going to be an issue, then we need to cut off all further relations. You knew I wasn’t committing to anything.” 

Rune felt his ego deflated, “I’m sorry, I overstepped. I’ll leave you to it then.” 

Brynjolf had been eavesdropping from across the Cistern, not that Lilinah was trying to keep her voice from being heard. He was curious about this stranger now too. Lilinah didn’t like accepting gifts because she felt like she owed something back to the person. She didn’t grow up in the kind of environment where things were given away freely. Neither did he, but he loved gifts. Something about this stranger was different, Brynjolf thought at seeing Lilinah smile softly at the book as she placed it back in her chest. Frankly, Brynjolf felt jealous too. A year ago he would be the only one who could make her smile, and it never looked quite like that. Now this stranger has her looking like she was some youngling with a crush on a cute boy. 

Lilinah hadn’t given Rune any clues as to who this person was and he was in no position to ask her for details. Instead, he decided to get Delvin and Vekel to help. She talked to them pretty freely, so she might say something. Divines, she told Delvin all kinds of things. He stayed by Mercer for a few more hours before he quickly made his way to the Flagon, Lilinah coming out at the same time and bumping into him. 

“Oh I’m sorry lass- er Lilinah,” he stepped back to see her. 

“It’s fine,” she brushed it off and kept walking. 

Her shoulder was so cold he could feel it. He watched her as she grabbed her best dagger and climbed up the steps to Riften. Brynjolf asked if she had taken another job, but Vex and Delvin informed him she turned them down. It wasn’t like her at all. He was still worried about her. 

Lilinah had her hood pulled up, sticking to the shadows the moonlight provided. She had business to conclude at Honorhall. The door was locked and there were no visible lights on through the windows. Waiting for the guards to clear the area, she deftly picked the lock and snuck inside. There were rows of beds for the children there and the room in the back was probably Grelod the Kind’s. 

She rolled silently across the room, not rousing a single child. The door to the master bedroom had a lock so easy she barely needed to move her pick. To her surprise, Grelod was awake. Thankful, she was facing away from the door and didn’t see nor hear her. Lilinah didn’t like the idea of having her awake for the job, but she didn’t have much choice. Grelod was abusing these children. She didn’t deserve to continue to live and ruin these children’s lives. She had stopped adoptions for Mara’s sake. 

Lilinah knew she couldn’t hesitate like she was. Her arms shaky and stomach queasy. With one motion she reached around the old hag’s head and cupped her hand on her mouth to muffle her screams. The elf took her glass blade and slid it across her throat, hitting both carotid arteries. Blood sprayed the table before her and she died quickly. Unfortunately, her body hitting the table woke some children who were now surrounding the room and cheering. Apparently, they knew that the little boy in Windhelm was contacting the Brotherhood. 

“She’s dead!” One boy yelled. 

“Finally!” A girl yelled. 

Panicked, knowing that they were making enough noise to alert the guards, she opened the window in the master room and let herself drop. She raced away from the building, tossing herself behind a tree when several guards started rushing to the orphanage. 

Lilinah walked quickly to the Cistern, avoiding drawing attention to herself. She hadn’t realised it, but there was blood on her armor. The thieve’s guild didn’t do murders, but Lilinah didn’t really see this as murder. This was justice, or maybe vengeance. It didn’t matter, Lilinah knew she deserved it. 

Luckily for her everyone else was either in the Flagon or out on a job, so she could start washing the blood out of her jacket before anyone saw. Well, anyone except Rune. He was in the bathing area and didn’t lock the door. Lilinah marched right in just to see a nude Rune standing before her bubbled up with soap suds. 

“Oh Lil,” he didn’t move to cover himself. 

“Why didn’t you lock the door?” She turned away from him, embarrassed. 

“I forgot, wait. Is that blood?” Rune moved to her and closed the door before she could reach it, “Are you hurt?” 

“No,” she kept her back to him, not wanting to look him in the eye. Grelod deserved it, but it didn’t mean Lilinah wanted her name attached to it. 

“Then if it’s not your blood, whose is it?” He questioned. 

“A wolf’s,” she lied quickly, “I went for a walk outside the city and a lone wolf decided I looked like easy prey.” 

“Oh,” he moved away from her to give her space, “Well why don’t you stay and get that cleaned.” 

“Probably a good idea,” she moved to grab the leather cleaning supplies the guild kept on hand. 

Rune avoided trying to talk to her. She seemed very flighty at the moment. He assumed it was probably from fighting the wolf. He knew what it was like when the adrenaline wears off. Lilinah finished right after Rune got himself dressed. They walked out of the room together. Rune was in a tunic and some cotton trousers and Lilinah had her tunic and guild pants. 

Brynjolf saw them leaving the washing room at the same time that he was on the way there for his semi-regular bath. The men in the guild weren’t every day kind of bathers. Vex wasn’t most of the time too, but Lilinah, Sapphire, and Tonilia made it a point to scrub every day. There was an awkward moment of understanding that passed between them as they met in the hallway. Brynjolf looked to Rune, to Lilinah, and to Rune again. 

“Sorry, it’s all yours,” Rune said, putting an arm on Lilinah’s shoulder to gently guide her forward and past the guild’s second. 

Brynjolf was even more shocked to see the blood tinged water that was still draining in the corner by the leather basin. His mind suddenly flooded with thoughts of Rune hurting Lilinah. She was rather impatient and hurt his ego earlier, so he might have brought her in here to deal out whatever punishment he felt like. Enraged, and with little evidence, Brynjolf made his way out and to Rune. He was speaking with Lilinah, who was sitting in her bed and about to rest. 

Lilinah looked puzzled at the fuming Brynjolf, making Rune turn to see what caught her attention. Before Rune even registered it, Brynjolf’s fist made contact to his jaw, sending the unprepared Imperial tumbling over. 

“What the fuck Brynjolf!” Lilinah jumped out of the bed to see to Rune. 

“You’re going to pay for that one,” Rune was on his feet and brushed her off. 

Rune swung at Brynjolf and missed. The more seasoned man made contact from knee to leg and had Rune hitting the ground again. The commotion drew several people into the Cistern. The fight was mostly Brynjolf expertly avoiding blows, but Rune got a few hits in. 

“Guys! Stop!” Lilinah tried to intervene, just having both men ignore her. She didn’t even know why they were fighting. 

“What’s going on in here?” Mercer's voice rang out. He clearly just woke up, “What in Void are you two doing?” 

“Teaching this boy a lesson!” Brynjolf defended. 

“What are you talking about?” Rune yelled. 

“You! You think I didn’t see the blood? I know you hurt her!” Brynjolf accused. 

“What?” Rune and Lilinah said in unison. 

“The blood. I saw it when you left the room,” Brynjolf darted his attention between the two. 

“That wasn’t my blood Brynjolf. I can’t believe the guild’s second decided to make a violent decision with little information,” Lilinah commented. 

“For once I agree with you,” Mercer walked up to Brynjolf, “In my room. Now.” 

Brynjolf felt like such an idiot. He should have known that Rune wasn’t the kind of man that would hurt her like that. He tuned out Mercer’s scolding to reflect on the situation. If it wasn’t her blood, whose was it?

Lilinah decided things were too tense in the Cistern and decided to stay in the inn for the night, should more fighting ensue. She didn’t bother telling anyone, ready to just sleep the night off. She rented a room at the Bee and Barb and found sleep easily. 

When she woke up, the room was spinning and her head had a dull ache. It took her a few moments to realize she wasn’t at the inn. There was a chill in the air that Riften never felt. 

“Sleep well?” A honeyed, mature voice spoke out.


	7. Welcome Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's get this ship going, huh? (∩ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)⊃━☆ﾟ

“Where am I? Who are you?” Lilinah kept her fear out of her voice. 

“Does it matter? You're warm, dry... and still very much alive. That's more than can be said for old Grelod. Hmm?” The woman’s leg swung in the air from her perch on a bookshelf. 

“You know about that?” Lilinah questioned. 

“Half of Skyrim knows. Old hag gets butchered in her own orphanage? Things like that tend to get around. Oh, but don't misunderstand. I'm not criticizing. It was a good kill. Old crone had it coming. And you saved a group of urchins, to boot. Ah, but there is a slight... problem. You see, that little Aretino boy was looking for the Dark Brotherhood. For me, and my associates. Grelod the Kind was, by all rights, a Dark Brotherhood contract. A kill... that you stole. A kill you must repay,” she looked over to the other side of the room as Lilinah kept silent. “If you turn around, you'll notice my guests. I've "collected" them from... well, that's not really important. The here and now. That's what matters. You see, there's a contract out on one of them, and that person can't leave this room alive. But... which one? Go on, see if you can figure it out. Make your choice. Make your kill. I just want to observe... and admire."

“So you’re not going to tell me who has it? But if I don’t kill them then you won’t let me leave?” Lilinah questioned. 

“Exactly my dear. Now go, make your kill,” she instructed. 

Lilinah only had her dagger, so she would have to get close to make the kill. She was conflicted. She didn’t know who could have it, but she had to find them. It was her or them, and she didn’t want to die in an old shack in the middle of nowhere. Lilinah didn’t ask them questions, that would make them more real in her eyes. No, she had to keep them at a distance from her. She needed to remove them of personhood in her eyes to make the kill. 

She stepped behind the woman first, looking to the shrouded woman for any signs of emotion. There were none. The woman pleaded to let her go as Lilinah quickly swiped the blade across her throat. Her body slumped forward. Next was the man in the middle, Lilinah took a deep breath and did the same. Finally the Khajiit, who began to tell her all about his life in an attempt to seem more human. He screamed when she sliced him. Lilinah told herself she had few options, killing all three to ensure the one that had the contract was dead. 

“My, my. Aren’t you the overachiever. Here, the key to this building,” she tossed the key and Lilinah barely caught it, “I think you would be a great addition to our little family. You can find us near Falkreath. The code is silence. I hope to see you there.” 

The woman stayed in her perch as Lilinah unlocked the door. It was freezing here and her guild armor did little to protect her. It looked like she wasn’t too far from Solitude. In an attempt to help her keep warm, Lilinah decided to try and run most of the way there. It took her several hours, but she made it to the stables unscathed. From there she hitched a ride, eager to go home. 

…

“Where is she? I thought she would be with you,” Brynjolf replied to Rune, who asked if he had seen Lilinah. 

“She doesn’t cling to me Brynjolf,” Rune countered, “Lil didn’t break her fast at the Flagon yet and she’s no where here. I’m worried.” 

“Aye,” Brynjolf tried to think of where she might have gone, “Maybe she decided to go somewhere else to eat? I’ll check the inn.” 

“I’m coming too,” Rune wasn’t asking. 

They went to the bee and barb, finding out that Lilinah had spent the night there. The innkeepers never saw her leave, but when they checked her room it was empty. Both men could feel themselves panic on the way back to the Cistern. 

“She didn’t have any jobs did she?” Rune asked. 

“No, she refused more right now,” Brynjolf replied. 

“What’s with the commotion over there?” Rune pointed to the direction of the orphanage. 

“You didn’t hear? Grelod was murdered last night,” Brynjolf informed him, “She had it coming with how poorly she treated those kids.” 

“You think Lilinah is okay?” Rune asked, now worried that she may be dead somewhere. 

“I think so. She can handle herself,” Brynjolf tried to hide the shake in his voice. 

… 

After two days on the carriage she was back at the gates of Riften. She was glad to be home, but now she had to think about the invitation given to her and how she would explain all of this to the guild. On second thought, Lilinah found it best to leave out the murdering part. It was strange to Lilinah that she didn’t find herself dwelling on their deaths. It was a means to an end. 

As she made her way down to the Cistern, she found several guild members gathered in one spot discussing something. Whatever it was, things were getting heated. As she approached, Rune and Brynjolf spotted her and both ran toward her. 

“Where were you lass?” Brynjolf asked as Rune looked her up and down for injury. 

“Somewhere near Solitude apparently,” Lilinah chuckled a bit as Rune finished inspecting her for damage. 

“Solitude? What for?” Brynolf questioned. 

“We don’t have any jobs there right now,” Rune stated. 

“I know,” she sighed and ran her hand down her face to try and explain, “I was abducted, but before you freak out,” she held her hands up defensively, “I’m okay. They didn’t want to hurt me. Please don’t question me further. I have some thinking I need to do.” 

She left them both dumbfounded and staring at her. Lilinah quickly took off her jacket and grabbed a fresh pair of clothes to change into after a good bath. She put a little extra lavender oil in her bath since she had gone several days without one. 

While she washed, Lilinah contemplated the offer. Could she kill people for money? She already had done that when she went to the Goldenglow estate. It didn’t make her feel too bad there, so was becoming an assassin that much different? Lilinah was growing to want more than a life of thievery. It wouldn’t hurt to just hear them out. Rune and Brynjolf would be upset if they knew. The thieves guild and brotherhood are apparently close, so there would be no issues being a member for both. 

Once she was satisfied that she was thoroughly clean, she rested herself on her bed. She had eaten at the inn before coming back to the guild. Grabbing a book in her chest, she opened to the pages she pressed the deathbell in. It had dried nicely. Lilinah still didn’t understand why she felt some happiness when she looked at it. It must have something to do with Cicero making her laugh harder than she had in a long time. He brought her some joy to her life, even if it was only for a little while. The next morning she had made up her mind. She packed up enough things to last for a week, including the book holding that precious flower. 

Rune was the first to notice, “Where are you headed?” 

“To Falkreath to meet some friends,” she answered honestly. 

“Friends?” His suspicion was clear in her voice, “I didn’t know you had any outside the guild.” 

“Don’t be an ass. I have a life outside of the guild,” That wasn’t entirely true. 

“Would you like some company?” Rune asked, hopeful. 

“No thank you. I appreciate it, but this is a solo kind of thing,” she tried to explain without giving away too much information. 

“Alright. Be careful okay?” He placed a kiss on her forehead, not trying to pressure her to take him with her. 

“Can you let Brynjolf know? I don’t feel up to seeing him,” Lilinah asked. 

“Sure thing Lil,” he replied. 

“Thank you so much,” Lilinah stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the cheek. 

Lilinah left quickly to try and catch the carriage. She was not interested in walking all the way there. Thankfully, he hadn’t left yet. She gave him the coin for the ride and settled herself into the wagon. 

Now in Falkreath, she had no clue where to go. She asked the locals if there was anything of interest nearby, but the gloomy town had no information to offer her. Lilinah sighed and just started walking, hoping to stumble upon it. As luck would have it, that’s exactly what she did. Literally stumbled once she saw it. The giant black door with a skull. No doubt this had to be it. 

The door spoke as she approached it, “What is the music of life?” 

Lilinah nearly shat herself before remembering what the stranger had told her, “Silence.” 

“Welcome home,” it opened. 

The stranger from before was standing near the entrance as she walked down the steps. She turned her head from the table and Lilinah was taken back by how beautiful she was. She was the perfect image of a Nord woman. Her hair was blonde like wheat, her skin a milky white, and her eyes a startling shade of blue.

“As, you finally made it home,” She walked over to Lilinah, “I am Astrid. This is the last remaining chapter of the brotherhood. I have one task you need to complete to become a member of our family. I have a contract for you to take. A huntsmen here in Falkreath. Kill him and come back to me.” 

“Alright,” Lilinah took the piece of paper from her, “I’ll be back shortly.” 

Then she was off again. The huntsmen was rather easy to find based on the description from his contract. Tall nord, brown long hair, wearing studded armor. Lilinah crouched near a bush and withdrew her bow. She notched a steel arrow and let it fly. The man let out a shout as he was struck in the head before hitting the ground. 

Lilinah was lucky that they were far enough away from the nearest guard to be heard. She ran to him quickly, picking his pockets of anything valuable and making her way back to the sanctuary. Astrid welcomed her back and gave her the pay for the contract. She also handed the Dunmer a set of their shrouded armor. Next was time for introductions. Lilinah was surprised to see another Dark Elf there, even though she was nearly a foot taller than her. The grumpy wizard didn’t seem to like Lilinah, or really anybody. The shadow scale was very welcoming. Astrid’s husband scared the shit out of her as he told her he was a werewolf and referred to her as food. The vampire child was also surprising, but her little body made her less scary in Lilinah’s mind. Nazir, the Redguard, wasn’t unpleasant but was clearly keeping a distance for now. 

Just like with the thieve’s guild, her bed was in a common room that held many beds. No one was around her at the moment aside from Babette and Gabriella. She stripped out of her armor and down to her small clothes. There was no way a tunic would fit under the tight clothing. It clung to every inch of her body like a second skin. The armor was made of a fabric she’s never seen before, some type of leather she guessed. This was the first time that Lilinah had anything fit her properly without adjustments. Lilinah found a looking glass to see herself, surprised at how curvy she looked in it. She never really saw herself as having a womanly body, but this armor brought out her curves. 

“That looks amazing on you sister!” Gabriella exclaimed at her. 

“Really? Thanks,” She replied. 

Lilinah made her way down to Nazir for her next contract. A bard man in Whiterun that won’t stop harassing the city’s women. Apparently, multiple women pooled the money to pay for the contract. Lilinah pulled up her hood and face mask, making her way to the city. 

Getting to the bard was no trouble, but the location was nearly impossible to work in. How could she kill this man with a tavern full of people? Lilinah decided to wait him out. Bards usually lived in the taverns they worked at, so he would have to go to bed at some point. Lilinah knew she would be suspicious if she kept her mask and hood up, so she brought them both down when she entered the Bannered Mare. She ordered a sweet roll and some honey mead, sitting in the far corner to get a full view of the place. 

Lilinah could feel the eyes of several men on her since the moment she walked in. They were still staring. Clearly this tight outfit really got them going. A large Nord man named Sinmir tried to flirt with her by openly asking if she would like to rent a room upstairs. Lilinah did her best to look flattered while gently turning him down. He said some slur about her being a gray skin bitch, but she let it slide. She couldn’t blow her cover right now. 

Her target, Mikael, had just finished a song and was making his way toward her, “Well hello there beautiful. I'm a bard by trade. Perhaps you've heard of me?”

Lilinah tilted her head, “Can’t say I have.” 

“No? No doubt they still tell tales of Mikael and his sweet songs across Cyrodiil, where last I traveled,” he tried his best to look bigger than he was. Truthfully, he looked rather weak for a Nord man. “Would you like to hear me play?” 

“Hmmm,” she looked him up and down before giving him a smirk, “Only if it’s a private performance.” 

“Oh! Well you minx. I happen to have a room upstairs. Why don’t you follow me?” He offered her his hand and led her upstairs, patrons of the tavern hooping and hollering for him. “So, where would you like to start this?” He reached his arm around her waist and pulled her into him. 

Lilinah had to fight every instinct she had to keep from killing him immediately, “Why don’t you get on the bed and I’ll take charge.” She fluttered her eyes at him. 

“Oh oh oh,” he jumped on the bed and laid on his back, “I knew you were going to be a good lay.” 

“More than that, I assure you,” Lilinah felt like vomiting as she climbed on him and straddled his lap. He was erect, and it was not impressive. Weird given how proud and full of himself he was. 

“Why don’t we get you out of that alluring outfit, eh?” Mikael put his hands on her body searching for the zipper. 

“There’s no rush,” she cooed, “We can have plenty of fun before we get to the main course.” 

Mikael’s erection twitched hard and he grinned, “I guess what they say about you elves are true.” 

Lilinah raised her brow, “Excuse me?” 

“You know, nymphomaniacs,” he answered. 

“You know what else we are?” Lilinah leaned down to whisper in his ear, silently drawing her glass dagger. 

“What’s that?” He was impatiently rolling his hips up to her to give his erection some friction. 

“Assassins,” she breathed, one hand coming to muffle his startled sounds and running the blade across his throat. 

Lilinah didn’t remove her hand until the light left his eyes. She cleaned her blade then left through a window, not wanting to risk being seen leaving. They would forget her face in a few weeks, until then she needs to stay out of the city. 

… 

When Lilinah arrived, Astrid was not at her usual spot by the mapped table. There were many voices down in the largest room just downstairs. She carefully snuck around to peek over the scene. Her heart nearly stopped at the familiar joyous voice. It couldn’t be Cicero, could it? She moved into the light and there he was. That weird ass jester. 

"But the Night Mother is mother to all! It is her voice we follow! Her will! Would you dare risk disobedience? And surely... punishment?" Cicero was saying enthusiastically to Astrid. 

Arnbjorn replied, "Keep talking, little man, and we'll see who gets "punished."

Festus interjected, “"Oh, be quiet you great lumbering lapdog. The man has had a long journey. You can at least be civil. Mister Cicero, I for one am delighted you and the Night Mother have arrived. Your presence here signals a welcome return to tradition.” 

"Oh, what a kind and wise wizard you are. Sure to earn our Lady's favor,” Cicero said gleefully. 

“You and the Night Mother are of course welcome here, Cicero. And you will be afforded the respect deserving of your position as Keeper. Understood... husband?” Astrid spoke. Her husband grunted. “But make no mistake. I am the leader of this Sanctuary. My word is law. Are we clear on that point?”   
"Oh yes, mistress. Perfectly! You're the boss!” Cicero replied. 

Lilinah decided to step out of the shadows with her hood down and mask off, “Cicero?” 

“The kindly stranger!” Cicero ran over to her, taking her hands in his and jumping around in a circle. Everyone was staring. “Cicero had no idea Lilinah was with the Brotherhood!” 

“I wasn’t before,” She laughed a bit at his enthusiasm, “I’m new.” 

“Cicero is happy to see you again. He is sure the Night Mother is too!” Cicero finally let her hands go, grinning widely at her. 

“You know the Keeper?” Astrid raised a suspicious brow. 

“We met at Rorikstead once,” Lilinah replied. 

“Sweet Lilinah is too humble! She helped poor Cicero repair his wagon to bring Mother home,” He danced a little as he said so. 

“Yeah,” Lilinah awkwardly scratched her head and tried to fight the blush forming on her cheeks. No one had called her sweet before. 

“Well then. Cicero, you know where your quarters are. Why don’t you settle in while I speak with Lilinah privately,” Astrid walked back upstairs, beckoning the Dunmer to follow. “Alright, what do you know about that fool?” She asked when they were out of earshot. 

“Almost nothing, truly,” Lilinah answered, “I just helped him get the wagon wheel repaired and had a meal together. He didn’t tell me much about him. What do you know?” 

“Very little. You have my word on that. The Night Mother represents a chapter in the Dark Brotherhood's history that has long since been closed. Today we live by our own rules. We're the last Sanctuary in all of Tamriel and only by forgoing the old ways have we survived for so long. My only worry is her ‘Keeper.’ I'm not sure what Cicero expects to gain by bringing the Night Mother here, but he'll soon learn this is my Sanctuary,” Astrid said with disdain clear in her voice. “Since he seems to like you, I want you to keep an eye on him. Let me know if you find anything that could harm our family.” 

“Of course,” Lilinah dismissed herself. 

For some unknown reason, Lilinah found herself a bit excited for her new job. Cicero was a mystery, an enigma. She made her way to where Cicero would be staying. He had already set up the Night Mother’s coffin at its altar. The jester himself was busying with setting out bottles of oils and a collection of flowers. One of which was deathbell. 

“Need a hand?” Lilinah asked him from her place standing in the doorway. 

Cicero jumped at the sudden voice, “Lilinah is sneaky! Startling poor Cicero.” 

“Sorry, I forget it sometimes,” she stepped closer toward him. 

Cicero admired her lithe form in that tight armor, not at all like the ill-fitting armor she wore when they met. He was imagining what he could do to her, how much fun it would be to dominate her. Make her squeal in pleasure and pain. Force his name to spill from her pouty lips. Cicero didn’t realize he was staring until she cocked her head at him, standing only a few feet away. He remembered that she had asked him a question, “Cicero can handle things himself. He thanks the kind Lilinah for her offer.” 

Lilinah smiled at him and he felt like he was melting, “Want some company then? This room is far away from everyone else. I don’t want you feeling unwelcome.” 

Cicero clicked his heels with a joyous jump, “Lilinah is too kind, too nice to poor Cicero. Cicero would like the company. Lowly Cicero spent many years alone with just Mother. Mother doesn’t speak back to Cicero, no. Cicero is not the Listener.” 

“Then my company you shall have,” Lilinah took a seat at the small wooden table in the room, “Can you tell me more about the Night Mother?” 

Lilinah was almost scared of the gigantic smile that grew on his face, “Cicero will tell Lilinah everything.”


	8. Lily

Lilinah made her way to her bed, having spent the entire rest of the day listening to Cicero explain everything she could possibly want to know about the brotherhood. He was really talkative, she was beginning to learn. Nothing gave any hints of malice toward Astrid though. He seemed genuine in his care for the Night Mother and the Brotherhood. 

Lilinah made her way to bed and fell into a fairly restful sleep. She felt rather at home here, even though she was surrounded by murders. To be fair, she was a murder too now. It was a strange realisation for her. When she reflected on it she thought she would feel regret and remorse, but instead it was just an empty feeling. That Void of emotions made her feel rather numb, which was better than feeling pain like Brynjolf had caused her. 

The next morning Lilinah decided to break her fast with Cicero. Not sure why she felt compelled to do so, maybe she pitied him. She grabbed a loaf of bread and a sweet roll then headed for his room. Lilinah stood in the doorway for a few moments, just watching him fuss over organizing flowers around the Night Mother’s coffin. Mostly deathbells and nightshades. 

“Good morning,” Lilinah announced herself as she walked in. 

“Ah! Good morning,” he spun around to see the Dunmer, who was wearing a scandalous tunic that dipped way too deep on her chest. 

“Thought we could break fast together,” she walked over and handed him the sweet roll . 

Cicero took it with a smile, “Lilinah is much too kind to poor Cicero.” 

“I’m really not. Everyone deserves some kindness,” she sat at the table with her feet tucked under her. 

The jester sat across from her, reminded of how they sat at the inn. “Cicero does not deserve the kindness of such a lovely woman.” He loved the deep red color hue her face took, barely visible on her dark blue features. 

“I don’t know about lovely,” she smirked a bit, “I have nothing on Astrid.” 

Cicero made a scoffing sound, “The pretender cannot compare to Lilinah.” 

The hue grew deeper as she squirmed a bit, “The pretender?” 

“Why yes! Astrid thinks she leads the Brotherhood, but that is the Night Mother’s role,” his face grew dark, “As soon as Cicero finds the Listener, Astrid will be corrected and punished.” 

“Huh,” Lilinah took a sip of the tankard of water she brought, “How are you feeling today? Settling in nice?” She wanted to change the subject. 

“Cicero feels unwanted. Many here do not wish Cicero and the Night Mother here,” he sounded rather sad. 

Lilinah reached over and put a comforting hand on his arm, “Well I want you here.” 

Cicero’s face lit up, “Cicero is glad the stranger became a sister. Pretty like Lilies.” 

“Lily,” she pondered that, “I think I like the sound of that.” 

“Should Cicero call you Lily?” He smirked. 

“I would like that Cicero,” she withdrew her hand and broke her bread. 

Cicero watched her chew thoughtfully while he began to eat his sweet roll. The longer he got to look at her, the more he realised she looked like the Night Mother. Her ears were long and dainty, curving out then back in. They were longer than any other elf’s he had seen. Typical of elves, her cheekbones were high and her chin came to a slight point. Her eyes were large and a startling shade of red. Like rubies. His eyes then trailed down to that long neck, too long for her small frame. Then further down to the nearly entirely exposed breasts. Cicero would be lying if he said they were ample, but he liked them all the same. 

Lilinah knew he was staring, but she liked it. Normally, since she was a thief, she would hate being spotted or focused on. With this jester though, it stirred some things in her that only Brynjolf had managed before. Yet she still barely knew the man. He was still a mystery. Part of her felt that it was the mystery that aroused her. 

Finally Lilinah turned to him after finishing her bread that she had deliberately been eating slowly. Cicero didn’t break his gaze like she thought he would. No, now they were locked in each other's eyes. Lilinah felt herself getting too hot, his amber eyes seeing straight to her soul. She could feel herself pool at the intensity of his gaze. 

“Lily is looking red,” Cicero chuckled and finally broke the staring contest, “Perhaps Lily needs to lay down.” He was hoping she would pick his bed. 

“Oh I’m fine,” Lilinah swatted at her face and laughed nervously. 

“Why is Lily nervous?” He pressed. 

“Nervous?” She thought about lying but decided against it, “I’m just a bit flustered between your compliments and your gazing.” 

Cicero laughed in his usual fashion, “Cicero can’t help but look at Lily.” 

“Yeah,” she tucked her hair behind her ear, “I’m going to go check if Nazir has any contracts for me.” She quickly got up and headed out. 

Cicero frowned as he watched her back disappear from sight. He sighed, knowing his attempt at getting her under him failed again. He had faith that it would happen eventually, given how much she blushed for him. What he wouldn’t give to have her that way, his name pouring from her lips, as they tumbled after a messy kill. Both of them covered in blood. Cicero grew hard, deciding to get up and pleasure himself while the imagery was fresh in his mind. 

… 

Lilinah watched as her arrow sunk deep into the back of her contract’s head. The elf hit the ground almost soundlessly from the snow covering the ground. She had followed the elf out to the most secluded part of town. Lilinah quickly emptied the man’s pockets of valuables and made haste out of town. She wanted no part in getting this kill pinned on her. 

She was within a day’s trip to Riften. She knew she would have to return at some point before they sent out people looking for her. With a sigh, she made her way to the guild. Lilinah didn’t bring a change of clothes, so she hoped that no one would recognise her armor or question her about it. That was wishful thinking though, of course they were going to ask her because the damn thing clung to her like a second skin. 

She descended the ladder to the Cistern, planning on selling all the jewelry she pulled off her contract. Man was decorated like a damn temple. Brynjolf and Rune were both in view. Lilinah had her hood up, but brought it down at the suspicious eyes on her. She could swear she heard everyone’s jaws hit the ground. Even Mercer looked surprised and...something else. 

“Lass?” Brynjolf walked toward her like she was some caged saber cat ready to pounce. 

“Lil? What the-” 

“What are you wearing?” Brynjolf cut him off, though they were both about to ask the same thing. 

“Like it?” She looked down at herself with her hands outstretched from her sides, “Feels like a second skin.” 

“It looks like a second skin,” Rune’s mouth was still slack. 

“Where did you get it? What were you doing near Falkreath?” Brynjolf questioned. 

“That’s none of your business or concern Brynjolf,” her tone was sharp, “At one point it was, but that has passed.” 

“Right,” he rubbed the back of his head, “I’m just glad you’re back safe. Planning to stay I hope?” 

“We’ve missed you,” Rune added. 

“Actually I came by to sell off some things and get a bit to eat. I’ll be back headed out soon,” the Dunmer informed them. 

“But you just got back,” Rune sounded like a man-child. 

“I have business to attend elsewhere,” that was as much as she was going to share. 

“What business could you have outside of the guild?” Brynjolf crossed his arms. 

“I have a life outside of the guild Brynjolf,” she walked past them, “Something you should try sometime.” 

Delvin knew immediately what Lilinah had been up to, “Making friends all over ain’t cha.” 

“Please don’t tell anyone,” she sat next to him as she nursed her mead. 

“I wouldn’t. Why the secret?” He asked. 

“I just don’t want to deal with everyone freaking out over it,” she sighed and took a bite of her seared slaughterfish. 

“Everyone, or Brynjolf?” He questioned. 

“Don’t forget Rune,” she sighed and rubbed her forehead, “Those two treat me like a kid while simultaneously wanting to bed me.” 

“I figured that’s what happened between you and Bryn,” he sipped some of his own mead, “He didn’t tell anyone, but it was pretty obvious.” 

“Yeah. I figured it would get out eventually anyways. It doesn’t matter though. I-,” she paused, “I think I found someone.” 

“Oh? That special someone?” Delvin was curious. 

“Well he is definitely special,” she laughed thinking about Cicero’s dancing, “I don’t know about the ‘that’ part. We’re not even a couple yet.” 

“Well, I’m sure that will change. Especially if you’re prancing around in that outfit,” Delvin chuckled at her obvious embarrassment, “Just keep your guard up. The brotherhood is full of unsavoury types.” 

“I didn’t say he was with the Brotherhood,” Lilinah replied. 

“Didn’t have to,” he winked at her. 

… 

Brynjolf tried to argue with her to stay, but Lilinah was having none of it. Rune didn’t bother trying, knowing her mind was made up. 

“Come on Lilinah,” Brynjolf tossed a hand out, “At least tell me what you’re up to.” 

“No,” she crossed her arms across her chest, “It’s none of your business. It has nothing to do with the guild.” 

“Since when do you have any business outside of us?” He questioned. 

“Since now,” Lilinah tried to walk past him but he blocked her with his body and manhandled the sides of both her arms. “Dammit woman! We worry about you. The least you could do is tell us where you’re going.” 

Lilinah took a deep breath to calm herself, least she break his nose, “Falkreath. That’s where I will be headed, but I’m not staying there long. I don’t honestly know where I’ll be from there. Okay? Let me go.” 

“Alright lass,” he let his grip loosen and she wiggled free of him. 

He and Rune watched with sad eyes as she climbed up the ladder and on her way. She was on a carriage back to the brotherhood soon after, out of their reach. Brynjolf took a few hours to punch the dummy in his room before returning to Mercer to help with their bookkeeping. 

“I told you that whatever happened needed not to affect your damn work,” Mercer remarked, “Now that the damn elf is gone we’re struggling to balance our budget. It’s always the damn Dunmer women isn’t it? Didn’t think she had the balls to join the Brotherhood though. Quite surprising.”

“Wait. The Brotherhood? Surely you’re joking Mercer,” Brynjolf felt himself paling. 

“You didn’t recognise that armor? I thought I taught you better than that,” Mercer didn’t bother looking at his second while he spoke. 

“Surely she hasn’t joined them. She had to have just bought the armor not knowing about it. My lass isn’t a murderer,” Brynolf countered. 

“I don’t think she is your lass anymore, do you?” Mercer glanced up, “I thought that ended a while ago now. Leaving a woman after bedding her tends to ruin relationships.” 

“Damn it!” Bryjolf left to pack his things and catch up to Lilinah. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Mecer perked up. 

“I have to go bring her back!” Brynjolf was running now. 

“I’m going too,” Rune wasn’t asking. 

Brynjolf looked him up and down before relenting, “Fine. She’ll probably rather see you.” 

… 

“Welcome home,” Astrid spoke from her planning table. 

Lilinah chuckled in her mind that Astrid looked like Mercer when she was doing that, “Good to be home.” 

“I have a plan to get more information out of that Cicero,” the Nord started, “I’m sorry, but I’ll need your help again.” 

“Anything Astrid,” Lilinah smiled even though she felt a little nervous. 

“I have a contract here. The target is in Dawnstar. I want you to convince Cicero to go on the hunt with you,” She started, “That will give me time to look through his things and a chance for you to get to know him better. Assess if he is a threat to our family and deal with him if you must.” 

“I can do that,” Lilinah wasn’t sure she could kill Cicero, but she did like the idea of traveling with him. 

“Thank you. Get some rest then head out immediately,” Astrid turned back to her table. 

Lilinah headed to bathe first, the lavender scent overtaking the piss-funk of Riften. Clean, with hair still damp, she made her way to Cicero. She wasn’t sure how she was about to convince the Keeper to neglect his duties for several days to go on a hunt, but she had to try. 

She didn’t see him in the main portion of the room where the Night Mother rested. He hadn’t been near the bathing area either. Lilinah walked to the small, drafty room that was left for him and knocked on the door. She felt bad for Cicero. He may have privacy, but that room wasn’t suited for living in. 

“Cicero? You in there?” Lilinah said through the door, her ear pressed against it to hear a response. 

She nearly fell when it swung open. Cicero caught her. Lilinah felt herself get hot very quickly when she realized he was only in his jester’s trousers and hat. He was a relatively small man, but his muscles were sculpted like a Nord warrior. Not thinking about it, she ran a hand over the smooth flesh of his pale chest where only a faint patch of copper hair stood. The only thing bringing her back to the moment and her current awkward position was a moan escaping Cicero’s lips. 

Startled, she jumped back from the man, “Oh gods! Sorry Cicero. I didn’t know you were sleeping.” 

Cicero looked rather perplexed, “Why is Lily asking for Cicero this late at night? Was Lily planning something naughty with poor Cicero.” 

“What?” Lilinah could feel her blush creep up her cheeks to her ears, “I-I wasn’t- I mean I didn’t-” 

“Cicero is merely jesting,” he laughed, “Lily should see her face!” 

“Oh ha ha,” she playfully pushed his shoulder. He looked up at her and laughed some more. “I actually was coming here to ask you something.” 

“Another story about the Night Mother could surely have waited til morning,” Cicero stated. 

“It’s not that. It’s-I’m,” Lilinah felt like a bumbling idiot trying to find the right words, “I would like for you to come with me on my next contract.” 

Cicero looked seriously at the beautiful elf before him, “Lily jests with Cicero.” 

“No, I mean it. I would enjoy your company. It’s all the way in Dawnstar and I’d rather not be alone,” She wasn’t lying. 

“Cicero will think about it,” is all he said. 

“One other thing,” she couldn’t help but keep looking at the man and the delicious patch of thick red hair just above the top of his trousers, “Why are you wearing your hat? Do you sleep with it on?” 

He laughed once more, “Cicero grabbed it when Lily knocked.” 

“Of course. Makes sense,” she was flustered and wanted to go with him back in his room, drafty or not, “Goodnight Cicero.” 

He watched her walk away, thankful his trousers hide his erection. He had it the moment he saw her. Her long hair clinging to her white cotton-spun tunic. The way the moisture made some areas stick to her and her dark skin showed through it. When she was in his arms, he wanted nothing more than to carry her to his small bed. Cicero knew better though. His Lily deserves more than to be manhandled by someone as lowly as him. 

Sleeping was difficult for the both of them for the same reason. They weren’t truly pining for each other, but it was pretty damn close to it. Cicero had the luxury to pleasure himself privately though. Lilinah had to wait for her heat to dissipate before she could finally rest. 

Much to Lilinah’s amazement, Cicero was already ready and breaking his fast when she went to see him. He did a little dance of excitement about going out to kill for the first time in years. Lilinah was sure to get ready quickly. She didn’t understand why, but she felt compelled to bring that book with the deathbell with her. Slipping the book in her pack, she gathered Cicero and they went into the city. 

Lilinah stopped at the local trader to gather some things she needed for their travels. Lilinah didn’t exactly own a good bedroll or tent, so she definitely needed one. She bought one for Cicero too, who was all too happy to tell her how much he didn’t deserve it. Lilinah couldn’t help but feel like they were being watched, even though there was no one around that she could see. 

The local carriage was willing to take them as far as Whiterun, so Lilinah gratefully paid for the both of them. Cicero was watching her as they rode. He told some jokes to make her laugh and feel more comfortable. There was something making it hard for her to relax. Cicero knew they must always be on their guard, but her sense of unease wasn’t for survival’s sake. No, some outside force was causing it. One she hadn’t shared with him.


	9. Strange Bedfellows

“Is that-Is that a damn clown?” Brynjolf asked Rune, just to make sure he wasn’t seeing things. 

“I think it’s a Jester, Bryn,” Rune corrected. 

“Lilinah was coming all the way here...for a jester?” Brynjolf’s question was rhetorical, “Well, at least we know it’s not the Brotherhood.” He sighed with relief. 

“She seems happy with him,” Rune commented, getting jealous of the way her head rolled back and eyes tightened as the jester made her laugh. Rune only managed to make her laugh that hard when he accidentally got himself hurt with their training. Not that Lilinah didn’t laugh a lot, she was a very humorous person. She just hadn’t been laughing in the guild for a while now. “Bryn,” he started, “What did you do to upset Lil?” 

Brynjolf gave him a thoughtful look before deciding the truth would eventually get to him, “I did something I shouldn’t have done to her, then made it worse by leaving her alone.” 

Rune’s hands reached his shoulders and twirled him so that they were facing, “You were the one who took her virginity?!” 

“How did you know about that lad?” Brynjolf put his hands on Rune’s, but made no move to push him off yet. 

“Well, when we,” he averted his gaze momentarily, “She told me there was one before me.” 

“Oh, so she did sleep with you,” Brynjolf was angry but he hid it, “That’s why you tried so hard to be around her. Looks like she did to you what I did to her.” 

“No. Lil didn’t use me,” Rune spat and let Brynjolf go. 

“Then why is she laughing with another man instead of with you right now?” Brynjolf felt a jealous pride in bringing Rune down. 

“He must be her friend. She told me she made a friend,” Rune doubled down. 

“Really? Would Lilinah take the time to accept and preserve a flower from just a friend?” Brynjolf countered. 

“Well she kept my necklace,” Rune rebutted. 

“And she slept with you,” Brynjolf let Rune finish the point in his mind. 

“I refuse to believe she would lower herself to some random jester,” Rune crossed his arms. 

“Well, I guess we’ll have to ask her then,” Brynjolf stood now that they were out of sight from the carriage. 

“We’re still going to follow them right?” Rune questioned. 

“I’m not. I just came here to see if she was with the Brotherhood. I see now that she just had a strange lover she wanted to hide,” Brynjolf answered. 

“Well, I’m going to see this through. We don’t know that they’re lovers,” Rune responded. 

“Suit yourself lad,” Brynjolf made his way to the horse he had ‘borrowed.’ “Let’s just hope she doesn’t catch you.” 

“Fine,” Ruin mounted his and set a trail parallel to theirs. 

...

“...and he says to the man, "That's not a horker! That's my wife!" Ha ha ha ha ha... Ah... I love that one,” Cicero finished his tale right before they reached Whiterun. 

“You have the strangest stories,” Lilinah laughed. 

Cicero had done an excellent job keeping her entertained and in better spirits. So good, in fact, that she hadn’t noticed Rune following them. They made their way into Whiterun to rent a room at the Banneredmare. Unfortunately they only had one. Cicero assured Lilinah that he could just sleep outside, but she was having none of it. 

“Come on you damn fool,” she chuckled, “We’ll make it work.” 

They were quite the spectacle. The stunted Dunmer and the jester. Lilinah put her pouch by the bed and grabbed the spare tunic and pants she wore. Cicero turned around to give her some privacy to change.

“Cicero will sleep on the floor,” he announced as she told him it was okay to turn around. 

“Alright,” she pulled out her bedroll, “Then I shall too!” 

“What? No, no, no. Lily will take the bed and leave poor Cicero to his lowly place on the floor,” he tried to push her bedroll back into the bag while she was still holding it. 

It made him very close to her, “No. I will not enjoy a bed while you have to sleep on the floor.” 

“But Cicero-” 

“No buts,” she thumped his forehead playfully, “It’s settled.” 

Cicero smiled at that, no longer fighting her on the matter. Lilinah finished setting her bedroll down and made her way to order them food and drink for the night. While she was away, Cicero couldn’t help but notice a book that had fallen out of her bag. He picked it up, the cover well worn from many years of reading. He couldn’t make out the title, so he opened it. Surprised wasn’t a strong enough word to describe the emotion he felt at seeing the deathbell he left for her pressed in the pages. 

Cicero quickly closed it and placed it back into her bag. He thought surely that this was why she asked him with her. To have plenty of privacy to express her feelings. Why else would a woman like her keep a flower from him? He paced a bit, rambling to himself like he always does when thinking hard. Cicero wanted Lilinah romantically and now he had proof that she wanted him too. Well, that’s what he thought. The dark voice in his head told him that there was no way she would want to love him, that he was not worthy of love from her or anyone else. Not even the Night Mother loved him, otherwise she would have spoken to him at some time in those years they spent alone. 

Lilinah returned with a plate full of sweet rolls and carrots and a second with stewed meat and vegetables, “I remember you kept saying you wanted a sweet roll or a carrot. I brought both.” 

Cicero was feeling more certain that she was interested in him, “Why thank you! Lily is too kind f-” 

“For poor, humble, lowly Cicero,” she rolled her eyes, “I get it.” 

Cicero was stunned and amused by her interruption. He gratefully took the plate from her and ate on the floor, his legs crossed in front of him. Lilinah glanced at the small table in the room with only one chair, then moved to sit on the floor also. 

“I want you to know,” she started, “That I see you as an equal. You may think yourself below myself and others because of your continuous servitude to the Mother, but that doesn’t mean you are lesser than anyone.” 

“Cicero is...warmed by Lily’s words,” he admitted. 

“Good. Just wanted to let you know how I felt,” she returned to silently eating her meal. 

Once they finished, Lilinah took their plates back down to the innkeeper. Cicero decided that he was going to act on how he felt. Especially after she told him he was her equal. She made her way to her bedroll and sat upon it, not quite ready for bed. Cicero moved to grab her, kiss her, anything to her, but fell flat. He was too nervous. 

“Something troubling you?” Lilinah asked. 

“Me? Cicero? No,” he gave a fake laugh. 

“Come here,” she patted her lap, “Use me as your pillow and tell me all about it.” 

It was something Brynjolf did for her a few times. When she was still new and everything was overwhelming. The last time he had done it was after her mother passed. She knew sometimes people just needed to talk and be touched. Cicero hesitated before moving toward her, waiting for her to at any second say she was pulling his leg. She wasn’t though, her face nothing but sincere. 

“Head right here,” she patted her lap and guided him down, “Sometimes Keepers need keeping.” She joked. 

Cicero laughed, his head up to the ceiling. The Dunmer made an awful pillow, all lean muscle and bone. “Cicero finds his pillow rather rough.” 

She thumped his forehead hard this time, “Well be happy you’re getting anything. Now tell me what’s wrong.” 

“Cicero doesn’t want to worry Lily with his troubles,” he gave her a weak smile. 

“Then don’t if you’re not comfortable. You don’t have to be alone though,” she carefully took off his hat. 

Cicero stiffened at the movement but relaxed entirely as her hands brushed through his hair. His copper strands a sharp contrast to her deep blue skin. Cicero found himself humming softly as her fingers combed through. It was a tender moment. Cicero had never had someone do this to him and she had never done it to someone. Lilinah knew that it would help him like it helped her years ago. Even if she had no idea what was troubling him. 

It wasn’t much longer before Lilinah heard a new sound from him. A soft whimper cut sharp through his humming. She looked at him, his eyes still closed. His breath was a little heavier now and Lilinah saw, just barely, that he had grown hard. Cicero didn’t say anything or make any moves on her, so she assumed it was just a reflex of the touching. She wasn’t sure she’d say no if he asked her for more though. 

Cicero turned and pressed his face against Lilinah’s stomach. She was about to protest when she realised he was asleep. He didn’t seem like the kind of person who just fell asleep around people like that, or really slept at all. She wasn’t going to deny him a small comfort for the sake of her small discomfort. Trufully, she liked feeling him on her like that. Cicero was comforting her just as much as she was him. Lilinah found sleep not long after, her back resting upright against the bed with Cicero still sound asleep in her lap. 

… 

Lilinah woke up in the bed, the sheets tucked under her like her father used to do when she was little. She panicked as her memory came back to her as the fog of sleep lifted. Looking around the room, she saw that all their things had been packed but there was no Cicero. She tried to remember the last thing that happened before she fell asleep. 

Before she could get very far out of bed, Cicero opened the door with a plate full of sweet rolls. He plastered a big goofy smile on his face when he saw her. She made him feel the kind of happiness he didn’t think he would ever have again. 

“Cicero has brought sweet rolls,” he put the platter down on their small table, “Cicero hopes Lily doesn’t mind he took the liberty of packing her...things.” His memory brought him back to the small deathbell in her book. 

“Lily does not mind at all,” she smiled and walked toward the fresh rolls, “Lily does like sweet rolls for breakfast.” 

Cicero laughed and grabbed one for her, before turning and eating on himself. He was hanging on every soft whimper and moan that escaped her lips from the pleasure of the pastry. Staring at the way she curled her tongue to lick the icing and her lips couldn’t be helped either. He must have made some sort of noise because Lilinah perked up and looked at his with raised brows. 

“Something the matter?” She questioned. 

“No! Cicero is happy that Lily likes sweet rolls as much as he does,” That wasn’t wrong, although far from his truth. 

“I do love a good pastry,” she didn’t question his answer, “So, we’ll need to make camp one time before we reach Dawnstar. The carriages are traveling there right now, so we’ll be on foot. Before we leave I’m going to hit the general goods store and get us some better bedrolls. Something heavily furred. Anything you want me to grab for the road?” 

“Carrots,” he replied. 

“Carrots it is,” she smiled and stood to gather her bag. 

… 

They just couldn’t have one uneventful day of travel. No, wolves had to be stalking them. Lilinah took one out with her bow before it closed the distance on them while Cicero wrestled with the alpha of the pack. Lilinah was faring worse than the Imperial, one wolf managing to dodge her arrows and grab her arm in its teeth. She screamed as the blood poured from the bites. Something in Cicero snapped at hearing her in pain. Like lightning he snapped the neck of the giant wolf he was grappling with and twirled around to slice the throat of the beast that had his Lily in its muzzle. 

The Dunmer fell flat on her ass as Cicero relieved her of her enemy. She wasn’t too good at healing spells, but did her best. It managed to stop the bleeding, but the wounds themselves were open enough to risk infection. Cicero crouched down and watched her work with worried eyes. He loved how beautiful the blood looked against her dark flesh, but the fact it was her own ruined the moment. 

“Cicero thinks he should make camp now while Lily rests,” he stated. 

“We’re in the Pale now, so I’m okay with stopping here for the night. We need to find some water so I can wash this up though. I think I can hear a creek not too far off,” Lilinah stood up. 

They made camp beside a small creek a few minutes away from where the wolves were. Cicero carried the alpha of the pack and threw him on the open fire that Lilinah started. Wolves were not tasty, but it was better than having to go off and hunt. Cicero watched Lilinah carefully as she washed the dried blood off of her arm. He made her let him bandage it. He was good at wrapping, as he had to change the Night Mother’s often. 

Cicero also forced Lilinah to go to bed and let him keep an eye out for trouble. It was too cold to rest easily though. Their new pelted bedrolls were warm and rested as close to the fire as possible, but the Pale was freezing. 

“I don’t think I can sleep like this,” Lilinah tried to keep her teeth from chattering, “Can you join me?” Cicero’s brows raised high. “It’s the best way to keep warm. I’m not trying anything.” 

“If that is what Lily wishes,” Cicero slid out of his jester’s top and squeezed his way into her bed roll. 

She had already taken off her tunic top and melted into him immediately, all sense of shame gone when his body heat met hers. Cicero prayed she wouldn’t notice his erection, or that if she did she would like it. Her body was hot like embers and she smelt of lavender. Cicero brought his arms around her to give her more access to his flesh. She mewled as she snuggled in close to him. This was her first time cuddling someone that wasn’t Brynjolf, and he didn’t let her do it once she turned of age. 

“Lilinah smells nice,” Cicero muttered into her hair. 

“Thank you. Cicero smells pretty good too,” she took in a deep inhale of his musk. It was masculine, with a lingering scent of the sweet oils that were used to preserve their Mother. 

Lilinah fell asleep quickly now that she was in her jester’s warm embrace. Rune watched from a distance, his blood boiling. He wanted nothing more than to march over and yank that damned fool out of the bed roll and kick him to the woods. Lilinah may never have loved him, but he wasn’t about to lose her to a jester. He knew better than to make it known he was following them. Not wishing to test his patience, he turned his horse back to Riften. 

… 

Lilinah awoke to emptiness in her bed roll. Just like the previous night, most of her things had been packed and Cicero was nowhere to be seen. There were a few dragon’s tongue flowers in the bed roll beside her though. She stood and dressed, reaching into her bag for some bread to break her fast. She knew not to be concerned about where Cicero was, as he was sure to come back. 

Sure enough, Cicero came into view just as Lilinah finished eating. He had a handful of flowers that he was shoving into his rucksack. Lilinah offered him a smile and a chunk of her bread as he approached. He grinned back at her and took the offer. 

“So, what were you up to? Finding new flowers for Mother?” Lilinah had grown used to the idea of the Night Mother being part of her life. 

“Why yes! Mother deserves pretty flowers,” he replied. 

“That’s kind of you. I would have never expected that an assassin would care for the deceased as well as you do,” she complimented. 

“You flatter Cicero. The Night Mother may be a corpse, but she is very much alive. As soon as she chooses a new Listener, you will see!” He exclaimed, “Her voice will lead us, not the pretender Astrid.” 

“You really don’t like her huh?” Lilinah felt herself tense. 

Cicero scrunched his face, “Cicero? No. The pretender must embrace the traditions of the Brotherhood! Or risk punishment by Sithis!” 

“What kind of punishment?” She asked. 

“That’s not for Cicero to say,” he answered.

“Huh,” Lilinah finished the last bite of her bread, “We should get moving if we want to make it to Dawnstar by nightfall.” 

She stood and brushed the crumbs from her tunic. Cicero stayed close to her and continued to tell her stories about the contracts he took. They checked into the inn right as the sun set, having not taken a break in their travel until they arrived. Lilinah wanted to get the contract handled right away. 

“Our contract is the bard that works here,” she whispered to the jester as they shared dinner at a small table in the inn room. 

“How does Lily wish to make her kill?” Cicero asked, taking a bite of his carrot. 

“Wait until everyone is asleep then sneak into his room,” Lilinah kept it simple. 

“Should Cicero do it? Stab, stab, stab,” he chanted gleefully. 

“If you want,” she shrugged, “Just kept it quiet.” 

“Oh yes! Cicero can be quiet and sneaky,” he gave her a wolfish grin, “Lily would be impressed.” 

“I’m sure,” she chuckled, “We’ll leave in the morning, but not so early that it’s suspicious.” 

They continued their meal. Lilinah opened up to Cicero about some of her early life. She wasn’t ready to tell him she was a thief though. She knew he wouldn’t care, but it wasn’t something she felt good about. Ironic, considering she’s killing people for coin now. 

Dusk fell and the inn grew quiet. Cicero watched through a cracked door as the bard made his way to his room. They waited for the innkeeper to stoke the fire and retire to their room in the basement. Cicero let Lilinah led them, using her expert lockpicking skills to break into the man’s room. The jester was impressed with her ability, curious as many assassins don’t bother learning the skill. His lock picking was rusty. 

Lilinah watched as Cicero snuck up to the sleeping man. With the agility of a cat, he pounced on the man and put a gloved hand over his mouth to muffle the shouting. His ebony dagger cut into the man’s flesh like butter. Lilinah thought for sure the gorey mess Cicero was making would make her sick to her stomach, but that wasn’t the case. She was too mesmerized watching his body move with the blade like an extension of himself to focus on the fact he was repeatedly stabbing the man. 

Cicero lept from the bed soundlessly. He led the way back to their room. Lilinah watched him like a hawk as he began to strip out of his now bloodied clothes. Her eyes traced from the blood splatter on his face, down his chest to the delicious patch of thick hair above the waistband of his trousers. She was so caught up in her staring she didn’t notice him looking back at her. 

Cicero couldn’t stop his mad grin. His eyes raked over her lithe form. The way her shrouded armor just clung to her in such a delectable manner. She hadn’t realized it, but during his ministrations, some of the bard’s blood got on her. He couldn’t stop himself from closing the distance between them once he saw her biting her lips while looking toward his crotch. He knew she must have noticed his erection by now. A good kill always got him aroused, but seeing his Lily look at him like he was her next meal made it all the better. 

Lilinah looked up at him, startled by his quick movements. He brushed a finger over her cheek, smearing the blood that was on her. He loved the deep red against her dark blue skin. Lilinah felt like her heart was about to beat out of her chest as he leaned down and went in for the prize. 

Cicero brushed his lips against hers, not taking them without her permission. Lilinah closed the distance, her thick lips pressed against his thinner ones. Cicero’s frame pressed into hers, her body fitting into his like a glove. He kept one hand on her cheek and ran the other to the small of her back. Lilinah felt like she was on fire, not caring that he was covered in another man’s blood. She felt like a coil tightening as his lips parted hers and slid a curious tongue into her mouth. 

Cicero pulled back from her, letting the elf catch her breath. He smiled at her, his thumb at her face gently rubbing across her cheek again. Lilinah’s breaths came in hard and heavy. She gave the man an embarrassed laugh and pressed herself into him. Her head rested against his chest, “Thank you Cicero.” 

“Cicero should be thanking Lily,” he ran his hands up and down her back, “He has not kissed a woman in a long time.” 

“Well you couldn’t tell it,” she chuckled, “I don’t have much experience though, so maybe I’m not the best judge.” 

“Cicero would like to give Lily many experiences,” he whispered in her ear in that strangely low tone that made her ovaries ache. 

“I would like that, but not here,” she stated. 

“As Lily wishes,” he gave her a peck on the cheek. 

Lilinah spent the rest of the night curled under Cicero’s arm. The rhythmic rise and fall of his chest guiding her to sleep. They rested peacefully for a couple of murders. In the morning, they left for the Sanctuary.


	10. Listener

“I’m telling you Bryn,” Rune told Brynjolf, “Something is up with that Jester. We need to convince her to come back home.” 

“Listen lad, I know you were sweet on the lass for a long time but you need to let her go,” he replied even though he himself hadn’t. 

“Bullshit. I know you want her too. I saw how you looked at her,” Rune countered. 

“Lil will come back in her own time. If there is one thing I have learned by now, it's that she does what she wants on her own time,” he replied. 

“But aren’t you worried?” Rune questioned. 

“Of course I am. I pulled some strings in Falkreath to keep an eye on her,” Brynjolf explained. 

“Surely there is something more we could do?” Rune suggested. 

“Aye, but I have other matters I have to attend to,” Brynjolf said. 

“What is more important than Lil?” Rune crossed his arms. 

“The guild. It’s more important than any one of us. I have to find a replacement to pick up the slack she left or we’re going to go under. You want to do something? Pick up some more jobs,” Brynjolf had taken up more work himself to distract him from how much he missed Lilinah. 

… 

“You want me to get into the Night Mother’s coffin?!” Lilinah couldn’t stop her voice from raising. 

“I know, I know. But this is the only way. You’re the only one I can trust to do this,” Astrid pleaded, “I know there is someone he’s working with.” 

Lilinah crossed her arms, “Cicero trusts me too. I would be betraying him just as much as I would be desecrating the Night Mother.” In truth, Lilinah had grown too attached to the man to break his fragile trust. They had grown much closer in the past few days that they’ve been back, stealing kisses when no one was looking. 

“Please Lilinah. Just this one more thing and I’ll drop it,” Astrid pushed. 

“Fine,” Lilinah cast her hands up, “Fine.” 

“Thank you sister,” Astrid put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, “He’s in the bathing room now, so hurry on up before he finishes.” 

Lilinah crept into Cicero’s room, her stomach in knots. She took a deep breath before opening the metal coffin and stepping inside. There was just enough space between the doors that she could make out the movement of Cicero entering the room. 

“Are we alone? Yes... yes... alone. Sweet solitude. No one will hear us, disturb us. Everything is going according to plan. The others... I've spoken to them. And they're coming around, I know it. The wizard, Festus Krex... perhaps even the Argonian, and the un-child... What about you? Have you... have you spoken to anyone? No.... No, of course not. I do the talking, the stalking, the seeing and saying! And what do you do? Nothing! Not... not that I'm angry! No, never! Cicero understands. Heh. Cicero always understands! And obeys! You will talk when you're ready, won't you? Won't you... ...sweet Night Mother,” Cicero paced as he spoke. 

“Poor Cicero. Dear Cicero. Such a humble servant. But he will never hear my voice. For he is not the Listener,” a voice rang in Lilinah’s head. It took all her might to not yelp out loud. 

“Oh, but how can I defend you? How can I exert your will? If you will not speak? To anyone!" Cicero exclaimed. 

“Oh, but I will speak. I will speak to you. For you are the one. Yes, you. You, who shares my iron tomb, who warms my ancient bones. I give you this task - journey to Volunruud. Speak with Amaund Motierre,” the Night Mother instructed. 

“Poor Cicero has failed you. Poor Cicero is sorry, sweet mother. I've tried, so very hard. But I just can't find the Listener,” Cicero paused and looked suspiciously at the coffin. The flowers he had spread before it had been distrubed. 

“Tell Cicero the time has come. Tell him the words he has been waiting for, all these years: 'Darkness rises when silence dies,’” the Mother finished speaking just as the doors of the coffin flew open. 

“Lily? What? What treachery! Defiler! Debaser and defiler! You have violated the sanctity of the Night Mother's tomb! Explain yourself!" Cicero pulled out his dagger and held it to the elf’s throat, “Speak worm!” There was death in his eyes, frightening the Dunmer. 

And just like that, their shared moments meant nothing. “Cicero, wait. I can explain!” 

“Quickly!” He pressed the blade in enough that it almost cut her skin. 

Lilinah could see the hurt in his eyes, “Astrid asked me to come in here but...the Night Mother spoke to me! She spoke Cicero!” 

He raised his brows before they came crashing back down in suspicion, “She... spoke to you? More treachery! More trickery and deceit! You lie! The Night Mother speaks only to the Listener! And there is... no... Listener!" 

“'Darkness rises when silence dies!” Lilinah shouted as his glare cut through her. 

“She said that? She said those words... to you? 'Darkness rises when silence dies'?” He pulled his dagger back, “But those are the words. The Binding Words. Written in the Keeping Tomes. The signal so I would know. Mother's only way of talking to sweet Cicero..." the jester’s tone changed as he began to dance maniacally. "Then... it is true! She is back! Our Lady is back! She has chosen a Listener! She has chosen you! Ha ha ha! All hail the Listener!" 

“By Sithis, this ends now! Back away, fool! Whatever you've been planning is over! Are you all right? I heard the commotion. Who was Cicero talking to? Where's the accomplice? Reveal yourself, traitor!” Astrid burst into the room with blades drawn. 

“Cicero? Why Cicero has only spoken to the Night Mother. And now the Night Mother has spoken to Lily! She is the Listener!” He kept dancing. 

“What? The Listener? What are you going on about? What is this lunacy?” Astrid looked to Lilinah for answers. 

“It’s true. She told me of a contract in Volunruud. To speak with an Amaund Motierre,” she explained, “Should I go now?” 

“What? No!” Astrid sheathed her blades, “I’m in charge here.” 

“You are the Listener! You are the Listener! I have served mother well, I have!" Cicero chanted as he danced.

Astrid looked to the fool, “Listen Cicero. I am in charge here. I don’t care if the Night Mother has spoken. I am the one leading this family. Do you understand?” 

Cicero’s joy left him, “Why yes Astrid. You’re the boss.” 

“Good. Lilinah, you’re bleeding. Are you okay?” Astrid put a hand on her shoulder. 

“I-” Lilinah touched her neck, fingers slicked red, “I don’t know.” 

Cicero had regret written all over his face. He looked upon the Dunmer, a trail of blood leaving the cut he made in her neck to travel down to her chest. The jester liked seeing blood on her, but not like this. This was wrong. He had been wrong and almost killed the Listener! 

“Lily,” Cicero started to walk toward her, “Cicero is sorry. He would never hurt the Listener!” 

“But you would hurt me?” Lilinah raised her voice for the first time in what seemed like forever, “You would have killed me if I wasn’t the Listener?!” Cicero’s lips turned to a deep, tight frown for he knew the answer. Cicero wasn’t stupid, he knew he was a madman. He knew his madness would have let him kill her. “I’ll take your silence as a yes. Did- did Dawnstar mean nothing to you?” Astrid darted suspicious looks between the two. “I-I thought,” Lilinah couldn’t stop the tears spilling down her cheeks, “I need to get out of here.” 

Astrid removed her grip and let the dark elf leave. Cicero stared at her frame as it rushed out of the room. Dawnstar meant a lot of things to him, but nothing could outweigh his devotion to the Night Mother. Surely Lilinah could understand, in time. 

“I should kick you out of here for attacking a sister,” Astrid gabbed a finger at him. 

“Sithis will judge us both,” Cicero said in a surprisingly normal voice before heading out to follow his Lily. 

Lilinah was an ugly crier. It was a fact she hated, but never denied. Some family members watched her with curiosity as she was running as fast as she could out of the Sanctuary. Her face was blotchy and she had a little snot running from her nose. Her throat ached and burned with each jarring step. She hadn’t cried like this since her mother died. 

She didn’t stop running until she was thoroughly lost in the woods. She was always one to stick to main roads, so she hadn’t explored much of the forested areas around Falkreath. With a deep, shaky breath, Lilinah sat herself down on a rotting tree stump. She tried to calm herself by taking in her surroundings. To focus on anything but the pain in her heart. A white rabbit leapt through a bush to her right. A blue bird landing in the tree directly in front of her. There was a doe and her fawn off in the distance. The technique paid off, as her breathing steadied and her face cooled down. 

“Lily could get lost running off like that,” Cicero's sing-song voice cut through the silence of the forest. 

“Why did you follow me?” Lilinah didn’t turn around to face him. 

“Cicero was worried about Lily. She is no good with directions,” he chuckled, “Sorry. Cicero is very sorry. He-he got so upset when he saw Lily where she wasn’t supposed to be. Cicero felt betrayed and did not think clearly. Cicero is stupid.” 

“I agree,” Lilinah replied shortly, “It’s a shame my life meant nothing to you until you found out I’m the Listener.” 

“That isn’t true!” Cicero’s voice raised as he walked to her front, “Cicero cares deeply for his Lily,” he grabbed both her hands in his and planted quick, hurried kisses to them, “Cicero did not forget Dawnstar. He wishes to continue with sweet, dear Lily.” 

“How can you expect me to move on from you putting a knife to me?” Lilinah didn’t withdraw her hands, cursing herself silently for melting into his display. 

“Lily can cut Cicero! Make him pay for his mistakes!” He grabbed his dagger out and placed it in her hands. 

She shook her head and returned it, “You don’t get it. I don’t want revenge. I just want to be loved, damnit!” Lilinah turned her head away from him, “You may be the jester, but I’m the real fool.” 

“No, no, no,” Cicero brought her face back toward his with a finger under her chin, “Cicero’s Lily is no fool! She is kind and cunning. Much better than lowly Cicero. More deserving to be Listener!” She smiled softly at that against her wishes. “Cicero would be happy to spend the rest of his life making up for hurting you without permission.” He ran a thumb against her cheek like he did in the inn, tilting her head up to give her a passionate kiss. 

“You...you mean it?” Lilinah asked as he broke off from her. 

“Cicero wants to make his Listener happy. He is the Keeper!” Cicero laughed. 

“Just. Give me a little time and a little space. I need to be alone to think things over. I don’t want to be angry at or scared of you, but you made that difficult,” She replied. 

Cicero gave her a nod and retreated from her. It felt like his heart was torn in half, but he left her there to think. The feeling of her lips on his was the only thing keeping him together as he made it back to the Sanctuary. 

…

“Alright. I decided I want you to go to that contract the Night Mother gave you. It would be best to not ignore her. I’ve marked the location on this map. Go alone and make haste,” Astrid instructed Lilinah. 

“Of course,” she replied, already in her armor and eager to leave. 

It didn’t take too long for her to get there on the horse Astrid lent her. Shadowmare proved a fast steed. Lilinah wasn’t sure what she was expecting from this contract, but it wasn’t killing the damn Emperor. 

Lilinah contemplated her relationship with Cicero as she rode back home. Against all better judgement, she decided to forgive the man. She missed his kisses and laughter. She touched at the scar on her throat frequently, not being able to shake the memory. 

She was surprised when Astrid instructed her to take the amulet to Delvin for appraisal. Lilinah wasn’t expecting to return to the guild anytime soon. Rune was sure to hover over her and she definitely didn’t want to even look at Brynjolf. She knew she couldn’t face them alone as she outed herself as a member of the Brotherhood. There was only one man she would want by her side when the shit hit the wall.


	11. Leaving the Guild

“Lily is sure she wants Cicero to travel with her again?” The Imperial asked her with restrained enthusiasm. 

“I’m sure,” she walked closer to the man and leaned her head onto his chest. He wrapped his arms around her hesitantly, “Lily thinks it against better judgment, but she doesn’t want to go without you.” 

Cicero smiled at that, “Cicero is pleased. He will make sure she is okay when she faces her former family.” 

“There is one thing I should tell you upfront,” she raised her head to look into his downcast, amber eyes, “Both of my former lovers are in the guild. They will most likely be there. I-I don’t want to be alone with them. They’re going to try everything they can to keep me there, but I don’t want to stay. I belong in the Brotherhood, with you.” 

Cicero greedily captured her lips in his at her confession. One of his hands braced the back of her head to keep her pressed into him, while the other pulled her lower back into his body. Lilinah moaned softly in appreciation of his tongue finding hers. Her small, delicate hands moved to his body. Fingers snaked under his hat to tangle in his auburn locks and pull him down more toward her. 

This felt right to the both of them. Their bodies molding to each other’s like they were made to do so. Grips tightened as Cicero thought to the idea of Lilinah having past lovers. It was a possessive, protective feeling he had only experience toward Mother before. Lilinah broke off their embrace, panting slightly. 

“We better get going,” She said to him. 

“It can wait a little longer,” he groaned and pulled her back in. 

Lilinah giggled as he kissed her cheeks and neck. Cicero took in her scent, now like deathbells and nightshades. She smelt like a murderer and it stirred something in him. He licked at the small scar on her throat, silently promising himself to find a way to make it up for her everyday. His hands roamed her back to her rear, squeezing her small but shapely ass. She gave him a short squeal at that, sending shivers straight to his cock. Cicero wanted more of her before they left and damn if he wasn’t going to try. She came back after he let her go, that meant she was his. He needed only claim it now. 

“Cicero,” she all but moaned in his ear. 

“Yes, Listener?” His voice teased. 

“I’m serious,” she playfully pushed him off of her, “Let’s hurry so we can catch a wagon.”

… 

“Watch your step here...and maybe hold your nose,” Lilinah instructed Cicero as she led him through the Ratway. She didn’t want to expose the guild secret entrance, even if she trusted him. 

“It smells like piss,” Cicero’s face scrunched in disgust. 

“You get used to it,” Lilinah shrugged. She could barely smell it. 

“Cicero prefers the smell of Mother’s oils...and of the Listener,” he added. 

Lilinah felt herself blush at that. She led him through the last of the halls and into the Ragged Flagon. Dirge saw them both approach, not speaking until she was near. 

“About time you came back. Who’s this clown?” He crossed his arms in a failed attempt to intimidate Cicero. 

“He’s a jester and a friend,” Lilinah replied, “Come this way Cicero.” 

Dirge kept his eye on the smaller man, feeling uneasy about his presence. He wasn’t sure if he sensed danger, or just how fucking wierd he was. He had never seen a merryman in Skyrim, their likes usually stayed in Cyrodiil. 

“Good to see you’re back,” Delvin announced with an outstretched arm, inviting her to sit at the table. 

“I’m glad to see you too, but I’m afraid I’m just here on business,” Lilinah took a seat and Cicero took a place standing behind her. 

“Starting a circus?” He questioned. 

“Not quite,” Lilinah passed the necklace to Delvin, “From our mutual friends. Want to know what it’s worth and if you’ll buy it.” 

Brynjolf had just walked into the room with Rune when she spoke. Delvin whistled as he held it up, “Where did you get this? Nevermind. I don’t want to know. Let Astrid know I’ll buy it and have a line of credit opened for her, per our arrangement.” 

“You’re back lass,” Brynjolf approached her, keeping the jester in his sight while focusing on her, “We were beginning to think you left us for good.” 

“About that-” Lilinah rubbed the back of her head, “I really appreciate everything you and the guild have done for me, but I think it’s time I move on.” 

“What?” Brynjolf’s tone didn’t hide his sudden anger. 

Lilinah cast her eyes away from the Nord, “I don’t belong here anymore Brynjolf.” 

“What about everything we’ve done for you? Taking you off the streets, training you to be the best damned thief here. You’re turning your back on us?” Brynjolf replied. 

“I know. I’m not turning my back on everyone. I’ll still pop in from time to time, but I found a new family to stay with,” Lilinah responded quickly. 

“Are you sure about this Lil?” Delvin asked softly, “Leaving the guild isn’t something you can undo easy.” 

“I’m sure,” she offered the man a small smile, briefly thinking back to her shared moments with Cicero. 

“Who is this fool lass? Is he making you leave? Convinced you to betray us?” Brynjolf felt hot, looking the jester in the eye and being rather shaken by the murderous look in his eyes. 

“Cicero hasn’t made me do anything,” Lilinah defended, “He is part of my life now, but I make my own choices.” 

“You can’t really be serious Lil,” Rune spoke from the entrance, walking toward them. 

“Oh Rune,” Lilinah pinched at the bridge of her nose, sensing a headache come on, “I’m sorry. I don’t belong with the guild anymore.” 

“How can you say that? What is it that this fool can give you that I can’t?” Rune asked, unashamed at letting his feelings be known. 

“Cicero. His name is Cicero and this isn’t about him!” Lilinah stood from her chair. “I found a purpose. Something the guild never gave me.” 

“And what purpose could that be lass?” Brynjolf asked, “What could be so great to make you leave us so easily?” 

“I-” Lilinah faltered, “I don’t-” 

“The Listener has no time for your questions,” Cicero said from beside her. Delvin’s eyebrows raised at the title, “She will be leaving you.” 

“What was that?” Brynjolf’s hands came to the hilt of his daggers in a threatening display. 

“I wouldn’t do that Brynjolf,” Lilinah warned, “It’s best not to threaten Cicero.” 

“Think I can’t handle a clown?” He replied. 

“No, I don’t think even you could match him. I’m not here to start a fight. I just needed to conclude business and be on my way,” Lilinah said. 

“Lil, what business? What have you been doing?” Rune questioned, looking like she kicked his puppy. 

“I-” Lilinah sighed, knowing it was time to clear the air, “I’ve joined the Dark Brotherhood.” 

Brynjolf and Rune both looked at her like she was crazy. 

“The Brotherhood?” Brynjolf exclaimed, “I didn’t teach you to be a murderer lass!” 

“We’re thieves Lil. We don’t kill people,” Rune added. 

“I don’t want to be a thief anymore. I’m old enough to make my own decisions now. I don’t ask that you agree with them, just that you respect them,” Lilinah replied, her voice stronger now. 

“Come on Lil,” Rune reached to put a hand on her shoulder, but was intercepted by Cicero. “Move out of my way you fool!” 

“You do not get to touch my Lily,” Cicero stated, marking his territory. 

“You’re Lily? She was my Lil first!” Rune pulled Cicero in by the collar of his shirt. 

Brynjolf took the moment to sneak behind Lilinah, pulling her back into him by the shoulder, “Come on lass. Just leave this jester here and come back with me to the Cistern. We can forget about this Brotherhood business.” 

“No Brynjolf,” she brushed off his hands, “You don’t get to just try and pull me to do what you want after what you did. You broke my damn heart. You don’t get a say in my life anymore!” 

Cicero tensed at the crack in her voice. Her raw emotions making him want to scoop her up into his arms and comfort her. Rune was in his way though. Cicero had allowed him to pull him up by the collar, but he was not going to let Rune get the better of him. Like lightning, Cicero moved out of his grasp and brought his ebony dagger to his throat. He knew this was one of the men that had laid with his Lily and he wanted nothing more than to kill him. Cicero knew better though. Knew that she would be mad if he killed without permission. 

Vex and Delvin jumped up with blades ready. Brynjolf was too surprised by the little man's moves, hesitating before drawing his own blades. Tonilia stayed back, but had her daggers ready also. Dirge ran over to the scene. Vekel kept his cool, but reached quietly to the dagger strapped under the bar. 

“Whoa everyone hold on!” Lilinah rushed to Cicero’s side with her hands out toward her former family members. She put a hand on Cicero’s back, nearly cooing to him, “It’s okay Cicero. You can let him go.” 

Cicero took a deep breath before pulling his blade back. Only the Listener could command the Keeper in such a way. It was tradition that he must act out her wishes, so long as they did not interfere with his role in keeping their Mother. 

“What’s going on in here?” Mercer’s voice called out. 

“Great,” Lilinah sighed, “Good to see you old timer.” 

“I told you never to greet me like that again. What are you doing? Who is this man you brought to us?” He questioned with hatred in his eyes. 

“Mercer, I’m leaving the guild. Officially. I have joined the Dark Brotherhood,” Lilinah tried her best to keep her back straight and chin up. 

“I told Brynjolf you’d be another waste of guild resources. Fine. Take your friend and be on your way,” with that Mercer turned to leave. 

“You can’t be serious Mercer?” Brynjolf stated, “We need Lil here, more than ever.” 

“No, we don’t Brynjolf. The guild doesn’t need another dunmer woman to fuck it over. If she wants to go play assassin, that’s not my business,” Mercer didn’t turn back as he spoke. 

“This is crazy Lil,” Rune looked at her, but was careful this time to not touch her. 

“Crazy?” Cicero laughed, earning a frown from Rune. 

“You have no idea Rune. Look. I’m not turning my back on you here. I’m just moving forward in a different path. I’ll be sure to write more often and visit when my contracts bring me to Riften,” Lilinah assured him. 

“What about me- us?” Rune questioned. 

“There never really was an us Rune,” Lilinah put a hand on his forearm, “I’m sorry.” 

“How could you say that Lil?” Rune did his best to keep his composure. 

“I was in a bad way after Brynjolf...you know what happened. You took that opportunity to confess yourself, but I wasn’t in a place to truly give myself to you. Surely you could see now how bad the timing was,” she withdrew her arm. 

“I-” Rune stammered, “I suppose you’re right. I’m not going to stop fighting for you though.” 

“That would be a poor choice,” Cicero replied in his typical sing-song manner, “The Listener has made her mind up.” 

Lilinah put up her hood, “I was planning to stay longer but I don’t think it wise anymore, lest you and Cicero get into a fight again. I’m afraid he’s not known for his restraint.” 

“I hope you know what you’re doing lass,” Brynjolf said as she began to walk away from the men. 

“Cheap talk for someone who didn’t know what he was doing,” Lilinah scoffed, keeping her back to him as Cicero followed her out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut is around the corner
> 
> I'm mulling over the idea of starting an OnlyFans for original erotica. Is that something anyone would be interested in? It would be mostly fantasy and Scifi with occasional historic fiction.


	12. Rainy Days, Warm Nights

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time. What you've been waiting for is a few paragraphs away. (˵ ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°˵)ﾉ⌒♡*:･。.

“The rain is really coming down,” Lilinah sighed while glancing up at the dreary sky. 

“Would the Listener like to camp for the night?” Cicero asked. 

“Yes,” she replied, “The Listener would.” 

Cicero led the way into a section of forest near the main road the two were traveling on. He knew she preferred to be on main roads, even though they were frequented by bandits. Cicero busied himself with setting up their tent. The two now shared one as they both preferred keeping each other close at night. Lilinah used her basic fire spell to get a fire going and threw a rabbit on it. 

“Cicero,” she gathered his attention. 

“Yes, my Listener?” He asked. 

“Thank you for going with me,” She stated, “and for not killing anyone,” she quickly added. 

“Cicero will not show such restraint if either of those men put their undeserving, filthy hands on the Listener again,” he frowned in response. He thought of all the ways he could flay them without killing them. Anything to make them suffer. 

“I’m sure they got the message,” Lilinah laughed, “Carrot?” She offered one to him, which he took and sat beside her. 

They ate in silence, watching the fire dance as the sun set and night took over the sky. A cold breeze was in the air, making Lilinah cast her fire cloak a few times to try and fight off the freeze. Cicero’s teeth chattered a bit, his jester clothes not well suited for traveling in this temperature. He moved himself closer to the Listener. 

“Want to go to bed?” Lilinah asked, hearing his teeth. 

“Yes!” He practically yelled. 

“Alright then,” Lilinah stood first, holding a hand out to the Imperial. 

Cicero took it with a smile, thinking of all the ways he could warm her tonight. He watched in a silent glee as she stripped down to her small clothes and curled into the pelts in the bed roll. Cicero was quick to remove his own clothes and jump in with her. His hands roamed her small body, stroking every inch of flesh he could find. Lilinah mewled softly and melted into his touch. He placed small kisses on her forehead as he brought a hand up to stroke her hair. He loved her dark black locks. 

Lilinah kept her hands pressed on his chest, moving her head to rest under his. Cicero was short enough that in this position their feet lined up, which made their cuddling easy. She didn’t mind that the jester wasn’t some giant Nord or Dunmer. He was just right for her, in her eyes. 

By nightfall the next day they made it back into the sanctuary. Cicero was quick to leave her side and care for Mother’s oils. Lilinah let him have his privacy to do his duties, not wanting to intrude on the moment. Cicero took his duties to heart and, in Lilinah’s mind, deserved not to have those moments intruded upon. 

Lilinah washed up from the trip and had a short meal alone. She spent a couple hours reading up on the art of sneaking, before making her way back to Cicero’s quarters. She found him still in his traveling clothes, just starting to put away his preserving oils. He gave her look over before crossing the distance between them. With cat like reflexes, he wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her close. He wanted her. 

“Oh!” Lilinah exclaimed at the sudden movement. 

Cicero didn’t respond to her, just kept his eyes locked on hers. They stayed like that for several long moments before either of them spoke. 

“Cicero?” Lilinah felt herself breathing harder, more deliberate as he studied her.

With quick fingers, he unbuttoned her cotton spun tunic. Lilinah let out a gasp as the cold air hit her skin. Cicero’s eyes went wide at the lack of a breast band. He quickly took advantage of her surprise and brought one breast into his mouth as he palmed the other. 

Lilinah ran her hands on his crouched back, pulling at his shirt. Cicero pulled back from her breast with a loud pop, wasting no time to turn his ministrations to the other. He felt more confident in himself with each and every moan and whimper she gave him. With fever, he brought an arm under her knees and scooped her up, carrying her to his bed for more privacy. 

He placed her down gently, enjoying the blush that was just visible across her face, “Cicero,” she cupped his face with her hands, “Dear Cicero.” 

“Listener,” he nearly whispered, pressing soft kisses around her face. 

The jester offered her no further words, crawling up her length to meet his face to hers. He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. Lilinah responded, driving Cicero further into madness. His lips devoured hers as he pressed her down into the bed with his weight. Lilinah let herself melt into the sheets as his nimble fingers explored her body. 

“Cicero,” Lilinah said his name like a soft prayer. 

“Listener?” He questioned, deftly unlacing her leggings. 

“Don’t stop,” she leaned her head back into the pillow, her hands pulled him into her by the back of his head and between his shoulders. 

“Listener,” He all but purred, “Sweet, sweet Listener.” 

The exchange of words wasn’t much, but it was all they needed. They both wanted each other, and now it was time to fully act on those feelings.

Cicero slipped a hand into her small clothes, his fingers finding her bud and entrance quickly. The gasps and moans of the Dunmer under him was all the encouragement he needed. His free hand fondled her small breasts. Cicero was a small man, so he didn’t need a woman to be ample to be satisfied. 

He brought his mouth to her elongated neck, which was bent back perfect for a bite. Lilinah mewled as his teeth found her flesh, Cicero quick to lick the area to soothe what he was sure would bruise. Her fingers scratched his scalp as her grip tightened in his hair. The tinges of pain make it all the better for the fool. 

“Cicero I-I,” she moaned as he pinched a nipple, “I-I-I can’t-” 

“What was that oh wise Listener?” He teased. 

“Please,” she looked at him with eyes clouded with lust, “I can’t take the teasing anymore. Please take me.” 

Cicero giggled maniacally and eased her head back down on the pillow while stroking her hair. He had no intention on getting the main course yet, wanting to enjoy all the appetizers she had to offer. His hands found the hem of her tunic and lifted it off of her. He removed her boots and leggings. She was fully exposed to him now. Cicero felt his breath hitch. She looked exactly like what the Night Mother did in her youth, according to paintings and sketches he had seen. 

“Something wrong?” Lilinah felt herself getting embarrassed, suddenly feeling very inadequate. 

“No. The Listener is perfect,” His voice was startling normal. A deep, nearly raspy sound. 

Lilinah’s body reacted well to the sudden change in his tone, her temperature raising a few degrees despite the cool in the air. Cicero spread her legs to him, lowering himself to her folds. He took his time and licked at each fold and crease she had. It was delicious torture that kept her on the edge of climax without giving her release. She needed penetration and he wasn’t giving her it yet. 

“Cicero,” she raised her hips to force herself further onto his mouth. 

“The Listener is impatient,” His normal, high pitched voice returned. 

“The Listener needs more,” she shamelessly rode his tongue. 

Cicero allowed it, squeezing both her thighs. He stuck his tongue out so she could press it into her core. She was sweet, like a sweet roll. Cicero chuckled at the thought, the vibrations sending Lilinah over the edge as her orgasm released. He didn’t let any of her moisture go to waste. 

“Cicero,” she panted, “Oh Sithis.” 

“The Listener tastes like a sweet roll,” he laughed. 

“This sweet roll is ready for its icing,” Lilinah teased. 

Cicero raised a brow, laughing harder the second he got the joke. He took off his own clothes before joining her in the bed again. His erection at full mast. He wasn’t the biggest, but he had enough to satisfy. Lilinah took in the sight of his lean muscles and the copper hair that trailed to a patch just above his member. 

“Does the Listener like humble Cicero’s appearance,” He made a motion to emphasize his abs and cock. 

“You are something else Keeper,” She gave him an amused smile, as she noticed he put his hat back on. 

Staunch nude except for that damned jester hat, Cicero lined himself at her entrance, slicking himself by rubbing along her wet folds. Lilinah watched as he pressed in, slowly and tantalizing. The Listener couldn’t take it, thrusting herself down on him to the hilt. It caught Cicero off guard and he groaned, falling forward and catching himself on the edges of the bed. Lilinah gave him a devious grin and ground on him. She could be dominant too. 

Cicero moaned without reservation, meeting her movements with rolls of his hip. One thing Cicero could do was make the most of his size with the most lewdly perfect, fluid motions of his hips. 

“Fuck Cicero,” she panted hard at her exertions, “I’m going to-” 

Her climax hit before she could finish the sentence. Her walls milked him bringing out his orgasm faster than he would have liked. Cicero pulled out and enjoyed the view of the beautiful Dark Elf that unraveled from him, watching his seed run out of her. It truly looked like the icing on a sweet roll. He couldn’t help himself, pulling her up to his face and eating himself out of her. Lilinah did NOT expect that. A sudden third orgasm hit as his tongue roamed her overstimulated sex. 

Cicero finally let her relax, crawling next to her. She curled herself under his arm and pulled her legs up to his waist. He rested his hand on her thigh and kissed her forehead. She fell asleep first, Cicero following shortly after.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to make this a little something sweet before I dive into the kinky shit we all want. Don't worry, there will be *plenty* more material. I actually had to research kinks I didn't know about for this story. Hopefully, no one will ever see my search history. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)


	13. Another Round

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added some new tags, please look them over before continuing to read. Further smut will become darker as time progresses. 👀

Lilinah woke to the rising and falling of Cicero’s chest as he adjusted himself. His eyes were on her, having watched her sleep for the past several minutes. He thought she looked so fragile when she slept. Lilinah ran a hand over his chest and rubbed her head closer under his arm. Cicero gave a short giggle at her movements, as her breath was tickling his side. 

“Oh Listener! That tickles!” He exclaimed dramatically with a big smile. 

“Oh? Does this tickle?” She ran her hand down the length of his torso just short of his growing erection, stopping his laughter. 

“No,” his voice was calm, normal. 

“I didn’t think so,” Lilinah replied and moved her hand back to his chest, finished with her teasing. 

“Cicero knows the Listener must go to the pretender for instruction,” He started, “But perhaps she would let Cicero finish what he started last night?” 

“I-I thought we both finished?” Lilinah suddenly felt embarrassed at her lack of experience. 

Cicero laughed, “Why yes Lily, but that’s not what Cicero meant. Do you trust humble Cicero?” 

“Of course I do,” she raised her head up to peck his cheek. 

Cicero took the kiss then quickly jumped out of bed toward his cabinet of oils. Lilinah watched curiously as he grabbed a few select bottles, a strip of leather, and a length of rope. He laid the leather and rope to the side on a small table, then lathered some of the oils in his now gloved hands. 

“The Keeper will tend to the Listener,” he manically laughed as he climbed onto the bed. 

“What are you- oh. Oh Cicero that’s amazing,” Lilinah purred as he rolled her onto her back and began to massage her shoulders. 

The oils had a strong floral aroma that filled the room entirely. Lilinah felt the tension she hadn’t realized she had melt away at his ministrations. Cicero took in every moan and groan she gave, each hint of pleasure, doing his best to keep himself from making any noise. He moved to her legs, enjoying the feeling of her toned thighs. Cicero waited to see her lower half relax before moving a finger to her sex. She was already wet, but Cicero was determined to make her wetter. 

He rubbed his gloved finger over her nub while using two more to stroke at her labia. Lilinah felt herself unraveling at the sensation, arching her back and moving as to create more friction. Cicero gave her a chuckle and told her to be patient, stilling her movement with a hand on her back. 

“Is the Listener enjoying this?” He asks, though he knows the answer. He just wants to hear her say it. 

“Gods- yes Cicero,” she pants, “Why the gloves though?” 

“To keep the oil from rubbing into Cicero’s hands. He must let his Lily have all the pleasure,” he answered. 

Lilinah groaned again as his hands pawed at her ass now. His fingers cause sensations like electricity, igniting every nerve in her body. She moans a complaint as his hands leave her, which is soon replaced by a startled gasp as he blindfolds her with the strip of leather. Taking away her sight elevated her other senses. The oil on her body felt warmer and slicker. 

With practiced movements, Cicero tied the rope around her arms and legs. Panic found Lilinah for a moment as he hogtied her, but eases as his fingers found her slit once more. Cicero laughed again at Lilinah’s breathy need for more. 

“Cicero,” she says, “Take me, please.” 

He tsked, “Not yet my dear, sweet Listener,” he pressed another clothed finger into her and spread them both out, “There is more to be done.” 

“What more could you-Oh sithis!” Lilinah exclaimed as Cicero poured an oil directly on her sex. 

The oil was cold, a sharp contrast to her heated body. As Cicero rubbed it into her though, it began to warm. He kept his thrusting slow to start, until the oil felt like flames. Lilinah was reduced to a writhing mess under him. Cicero wasn’t used to giving pleasure to someone like this, but the more he did the more he enjoyed it. 

“Cicero, Cicero please,” the Dunmer begged now, “I need you.” 

“Not yet Lily,” he spanked an ass cheek, “Lily must be patient.” 

“Fuck,” she sucked in a sharp breath of air as he rammed a third finger into her, “Cicero. Please!” 

He smiled, though she could not see him well from her angle. Cicero had her stretched as far as she could go, further than even his own manhood could take her. Lilinah swore and pleaded with Cicero and every god and daedric prince she could name as her first wave of orgasm came crashing down. Cicero let her ride it out on him, then removed himself. Lilinah turned her head to get a glimpse of him from behind her. She watched as he licked her pleasure off of the gloves before taking them off. 

He caught her staring, making him grin madly. Oh how he loved to see her so vulnerable to him. Cicero promised himself to never let her spend a day without pleasure and to never let another put her in such a lewd position. The brief thought of her with another man made anger boil in his chest, but he returned quickly to his task at hand when Lilinah called out his name again. 

“Cicero?” She questioned. 

“Yeeeees Listener?” He replied. 

“What now?” She was eager for more, but a part of her was scared to be restrained in such a fashion. 

Cicero didn’t give her a verbal answer, but instead undid his trousers and lined himself up to meet her entrance. He pressed into her slowly, enjoying each velvety sensation. Her body temperature ran hotter than that of a man, as was the case with dark elves. Lilinah offered no resistance, her body and mind together in agreeance at her desire for him to fill her. She imagined what it would feel like for him to fill her with his seed again. It made her feel dirty for liking it, but that just made it all the better. 

Cicero wasted no time with gentleness now. He knew she wanted it rough, so that’s what he would give her. Cicero would give Lilinah anything she wanted, even if it meant giving her his life. The sound of flesh crashing upon flesh filled the room as he hilted in her with each thrust. He leaned forward and cupped a hand around her throat, squeezing sofly. It was just hard enough to restrict some of her blood flow and breathing. Lilinah grew lightheaded, but gave no struggle as her sex quivered from excitment. Just when she thought she might pass out, Cicero’s hand released her throat and let her take in deep breaths of air. As soon as she took in the oxygen her brain was demanding, he squeezed again. Lilinah never thought she would be one to like this sort of play, but it was making everything Cicero did feel more intense. 

She was on the cusp of climax again as he continued his breath play. Before she could release, he untied the rope and flipped her onto her back like she had no weight. Cicero offered her no words or explanation but started driving himself into her. It was deliciously painful. Now he brought both hands to her thin, elongated neck. He thought it fit perfectly into his hands. A darker part of his mind told him to strangle her entirely and enjoy the life leaving her eyes, but the more sane portion kept him in check. He could never kill his Lily, even if he thought her corpse would make a great play thing. No, he wanted her to stay warm. Wanted her to hear the Night Mother and lead the Brotherhood back to its former glory. 

Lilinah’s eyes rolled back as her orgasm took hold. The hands on her throat tightened and heighted the sensations. Cicero came with her, his hot seed pumping into her womb. Part of Cicero wanted to impregnate her and watch her carry his child, but the voice in his head told him that his seed wasn’t worthy. That he was already soiling her with his touch and should stop. That he was ruining her. It was Lilinah’s hand clasping his cheek that stopped the voice. His lustful fog cleared from his eyes and he saw her with a loving expression. Oh how he needed her, even if he didn’t deserve her. 

“You’re having bad thoughts again aren’t you?” She asked, having seen that stare and frown before. 

“Lowly Cicero should not be desecrating the Listener like this. He is not worthy to spill seed in her,” he leaned into her touch with closed eyes. 

“My Cicero could never violate me with his touch,” she leaned up and took his lips in hers, “My Cicero deserves to have pleasure, for he serves the Brotherhood with his life.” 

“Cicero-” Lilinah pressed a finger to his lips to cut him off. 

“Dear Cicero. Don’t make me make it an order,” she grinned wickedly. 

Cicero returned the smile, “Humble Cicero lives to serve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next up, to Kill and Empire.


	14. A Warm Dip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cicero is back XXX

Killing the emperor’s cousin at her own wedding. It was a bold move, one that would bring the Brotherhood back to its former glory. Lilinah had another target to hit after. A young Legionnaire she was to plant discriminating evidence on. She didn’t read what the letter said, best that way. 

Whiterun was the city she decided to kill him in. He was a handsome young man, a pity. She planted the letter and ran before anyone managed to find him. A simple stalking and pounce was all she needed to slip the dagger to his jugular. Really, a trained military man shouldn’t have been so easy to kill. 

Lilinah couldn’t wait to get back to the Sanctuary, excited for what her next visit with Cicero would bring. Perhaps she could take him with her on the next kill. That was something she was getting used to, killing and Cicero. Taking each life has become a rush, giving her a high she craved. Her blade ached when it was in her hand, wanting another throat to slice. 

Cicero fed her addiction in other ways, giving her a new thrill. She hadn’t been in many sexual relationships, but he was taking the cake. When they spent time together, he would whisper dirty little promises in her ear. Lilinah looked forward to him fulfilling each one. 

It was dark by the time she made it home. That meant mostly everyone was out on their kills. Home, that was a pleasant thought for her. It had been a while since she felt like anywhere was home. She dropped her things off in her little chest by the bed she never used anymore. Cicero’s bed had become hers now. 

“Lily is back,” Cicero’s voice sounded cheerful, “Oh! And she still has the blood of her prey on her clothes,” He tsked, “Naughty Lily. She needs… tending. ” He wrapped his arms around her from behind as he whispered the last word in a chillingly deep voice. 

“Mmmm,” Lilinah moaned as his lips danced on her neck, “What does my tending entail?” 

“Oh Cicero has so many things planned. Follow Cicero!” He grabbed her hand and led her back out toward the body of water in the main room. 

“So are we alone?” Lilinah asked as Cicero began kissing her face and pulling her closer to the water's edge. 

“Oh yes.  Very, Very  alone,” he started stripping out of his jesters clothes until he was stark naked. 

Lilinah laughed, “What are you doing?”

“Cicero is getting ready to go into the water. It’s sweet Lily’s turn now,” his nimble fingers moved to her buckles and clasps before she had a chance to respond. 

The air was cold, making her skin pebble immediately once her tight leathers were off. He led her by the hands into the water, backing himself into it and pulling her forward. Lilinah couldn’t keep the smile off her face as he was being so silly with her. The water was unnaturally warm as she stepped in. 

“The blood looks good on Lily,” he said as he brushed his fingers along her skin to loosen it with the water. 

Lilinah embraced Cicero, wrapping her arms around his torso. She had missed him dearly in the time she was away. Cicero turned her around so her back was pressed against his chest and moved her to the edge of the water. He took her hands and moved them in front of her on the ground. The water was covering just past her breasts. 

“Relax,” he whispered throatily in her ears and her body did, it was his to command. 

Cicero brought both his hands up from her hips to her breasts, taking each one in his palms and massaging them. Lilinah leaned her head back onto his shoulder and let her moans flow freely. Each perky nipple was rolled between his thumbs and fingers, plucking them slightly to draw out her more breathy moans. Cicero pressed his erection against her rear and kissed her neck. 

Slowly, he drug one hand up her chest to her neck. Lilinah trusted him, relaxing further in his touch even though she knew her survival instincts should have kicked in. Cicero squeezed until her neck was snug in his hands. Her vision grew blurry, but he released at just the right time to let her catch her breath before squeezing again. 

“Cicero,” she mewled, one hand meeting his on her neck and the other running down between her thighs. 

“Naughty, naughty Lily,” he chastised as she rubbed her clit, “Cicero was getting to it.” 

“Not fast enough,” she smirked and quickened her pace. 

“Does Lily trust the Listener?” He asked. 

“Of course I do, Cicero,” she pressed her ass against his erection to create more friction. 

Her eyes went wide as he reached past her to an ebony blade she hadn’t noticed he tossed in front of her with his clothes. She didn’t say anything, but her heart rate had definitely quickened. Cicero traced her neck down her breasts and stomach with the flat of the blade. Lilinah shivered despite the warmth of the pool. 

Just as she drew enough breath to ask him what he was doing, she felt the sting of his blade on her side. She hissed as he pressed it just hard enough to draw blood. The feeling, to her surprise, quickly turned from pain to a tingling pleasure. Cicero groaned as he copied the pattern on her other side. His precision of the placement was impossibly symmetrical, as though he had practiced this many times. 

Cicero put the tip of the blade against the nape of her neck, pricking so a small drizzle of blood beaded from the wound. He tossed the blade back on his clothes and ran his tongue on the small trickle of warm blood. Lilinah shivered at the sensation, too overtaken by it to continue stroking herself. 

Cicero took advantage of her momentary stoic state, spreading her legs with his knees and pushing himself into her. Lilinah gasped as he stretched her walls, taking careful, long strokes. He continued to lap at the blood on her neck, the taste making his cock twitch inside of her. Lilinah brought her hands up to the edge of the water to brace herself against his unrelenting thrusts. 

Lilinah rolled her hips back to match each push from her lover as he brought one hand back to her neck and the other down to her clit. He stroked her lazily, driving her absolutely insane with the need for more friction. As if fire was spreading through her veins, she struggled to breath evenly. 

Cicero bit at her neck, hard enough to leave barely visible bruises against her dark skin. Lilinah shuddered, so close if not for his slow circles between her legs. 

“Cicero,” her voice was little more than a rasp, “Faster, please.” 

Cicero gave a dark chuckle, thrusting harder and rotating his fingers violently against her. She leaned back as he tightened his grip on her neck tight enough to cause black spots in her vision. She came with a choked scream, everything overstimulated by her lack of oxygen. Cicero, was not done yet. 

With a quick motion, Lilinah was turned to face Cicero. He brought her knees up past his waist and forced her back against the edge of the water. Her face was dangerously close to the water in this position, but she was spread perfectly for the jester. He took a moment to lick his lips, his eyes darker with lust as he peered at her sex. Lilinah felt herself flushing with sudden embarrassment, but it didn’t last as he hilted himself in with one thrust. 

Her head slung back at the impact, hitting the dirt. Their bodies met in a sloppy chorus, the sounds of the water being displaced around them. Cicero didn’t take his eyes off her face of absolute pleasure. She tightened around him, nearing a second climax. Cicero leaned back as he met her causing him to hit a deeper angle. That was all it took. The tightening of a coil before they both broke. He stayed inside of her, letting his seed coat her.

“Cicero,” she panted, still looking up at the ceiling. 

“Yes, dear Listener?” He all but purred. 

“I-I liked the knife,” she looked at him with a blush across her face. 

Cicero smiled, “Cicero knew you would.” 

“I guess you know me better than I know myself,” she chuckled before moving herself to stand in the water next to him. 

“Humble Cicero would never claim such a thing!” He grinned, pulling her into a hungry kiss. 

“Don’t have to,” she replied with a smile before casting her eyes down to the blood tinged water. 

“Don’t worry,” Cicero said as if reading her mind, “The water will clean itself. Come.” 

Lilinah took his hand, following him back into his room. Cicero took care to wrap each cut he made in clean bindings and a herbal healing salve. It would not scar so long as he tended her. 

“Cicero?” She gathered his attention, “Would you like to come with me on my next kill?” 

He lit up, “Of course, dear Listener!” 

She pulled him to her by the chin, her lips pressing softly against his. Cicero brought his hands to her slender hips and held her as though she was just a figment of his imagination that would disappear. In truth, he wasn’t entirely sure that he wasn’t imaging all of this. 

Cicero watched her pull herself into his bed, ready to catch a little rest before they headed out. The jester was much too alert to sleep now, even with his lover in his arms. Instead he began packing their things so they would be ready to depart as soon as she awoke. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you're ready for all types of bloody messes that will be written in the coming chapters.


End file.
